Hello. I am a 22 korean american male. Lately, after finishing college and starting work, I find myself finding life less and less āvibrant.ā
I have tried various hobbies over the past year, but eventually even the activities I find enthusiasm in feel dull. I often catch myself counting the seconds in my head, wondering if the reality iām in is reality. it feels like for the rest of my life i just have to find things to fill up the seconds and keep cycling through those things.
Maybe itās a mid life crises, maybe itās adulting, or maybe iāve felt like this since birth but life continued to provide unique experiences i could learn from and experiences to hope forā¦ until recently
I am content with nearly everything materialistic about my life. I am content with nearly everything I have some level of control or input over. I am not content with life however. I am not content with waking up in the morning and asking everyday why Iām awake.
I know this sounds depressing and suicidal, but I assure you I am not š¤ š.
All this is to say, what do you people do? If it is something I have not tried I must try it. As for the people around me atm, they all seem to either be content and have found purpose in their current life, or have āgoalsā they are working towards to āachieveā their state of fulfillment. Does this mean I just have to continue searching for this?
I find it utterly detestable that I live daily dissatisfied with life when materialistically on paper there is nothing I can think of I could want more to aleve this. Why do I have to exist with myself everyday just waiting for the seconds to pass by.
Anyways, itās 1230 so maybe iām just tweaking with late night thoughts. Would love input from ppl.
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- 7 months ago
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