I posted about how to stand out and some funny observations I've made (of course with the intention to pick up as well).

It included a list of what I will I won't do: unsolicited dickpics, being demanding and overbearing, ghosting.

I also had a pretty generic list of things I would do: being clear, patient, non judgemental.

I think by and large, I followed those rules.

On top of that, my perceptions of the sub and the people in it have really changed.

We all know there are some people posting with terrible agendas, weird ideas and selfish motives, but I truly believe they're also the exceptions that prove the rule, namely that the people here are interesting, curious, kind and in want of a connection.

Which leads to a second point: kindness costs nothing. I've learned so much about other people and myself through the conversations I've been fortunate enough to have, online and in person. Hearing about people's desires, fears, hopes and concerns is an eye opening experience I cherish all of them. It's easy to forget how human we all are through the pixels on the screen. But showing a bit of compassion opens up whole worlds for both parties.

If things don't work out, it doesn't mean either party is wrong or bad or evil. We're all complex creatures with varied needs, it makes sense that were not all compatible. It sucks for sure but that's life.

Good chemistry leads to good sex. This means being clear, open, trusting and non-judgemental (as well as honest with yourself when it's best to walk away rather than sink more costs). Talk with people, get to know them, show you are paying attention. You don't need to fall in love, but a modicum of care, respect and empathy goes a long way.

That's all for now, this ended up a lot sapphire than I intended, but would love to hear other people's experiences on the sub.