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In this instalment I'll be expatiating on my feelings with respect to travel, drugs and introspection. So get comfortable because I'm sure to find something annoying to say, just for you! I've also added some questions after each section so that you can chime in in the comments (or my DMs) with your own opinions.

Having recently returned from a spontaneous overseas trip, I realised that I have a strong desire, as someone who works online, to travel a lot. If rent is $700 in Sydney... why not put that money towards something more exotic? Australians travel a lot, as a culture, although most of the ways people travel don't appeal to me. I don't want to get smashed at Kuta beach in Bali; I don't want to "do France" and I don't care how much fun someone had when they "did Italy". For me, the beauty in travel is the opportunity to live how other people live and to see things from their perspectives. I do speak a second language and this has really opened my eyes to the ways in which living in a community in another part of the world can create huge perspective shifts. I don't care about Big Ben, The Great Wall or the Eiffel Tower, but I would gladly live in a village in Portugal, or Hungary, or Paraguay. To me the advantage is broadening the horizons of human experience and relearning the reality that I know nothing, life is complicated and beautiful accidents happen all of the time. There are very few places in the world that I would travel to just because "I want to see it". Kakadu national park is one. The Serengeti is another. Yosemite is also on the list, for sure. Does this mean that I am looking for a partner who can work remotely? Probably, it would definitely help a lot; or someone whose work is seasonal, allowing them to travel between jobs.

Traveling with a partner would be different to traveling alone - when you're alone you're immersed in your environment, whereas with a friend(s) you have a bubble of familiarity against which the new experiences can be compared and 'otherised'. I think that in my ideal world I would find someone who was willing to embrace new experiences and who wouldn't insist on speaking English, eating familiar foods and staying in 3 star hotels.

Have you traveled alone before? How do you feel about guided tours of old stone buildings? Do you think traveling can make someone a better person?

On a complete tangent, I was discussing drug use with a friend recently and I felt like perhaps I should share some of my thoughts here, since it's something I've mentioned repeatedly in posts. I'm not talking about coffee, alcohol, nicotine or weed. Those are all fairly innocuous in my opinion and can be used in moderation in many contexts. No, in my mind, in the context of a relationship, the elephant in the room is definitely mdma. This chemical causes your brain to dump 2 weeks of happy, loving, euphoric neurotransmitters over the course of 4 or 5 hours, which means that for the next 2 weeks you're operating in a very low emotional state. (There are debates about the comedown from mdma, but I'm speaking from my own personal experience). So, what does this mean? Firstly, it isn't worth doing unless you have the necessary conditions to make one night so enjoyable that you're willing to spend 2 weeks feeling hollow and sad. No, I don't think it's worth it to have a night at a club. No, I don't think it's worth it at a house party when someone pulls some out. Yes, it is absolutely worth it if you have a weekend away with a small group of very close friends, or one intimate partner. We've all probably had the experience of getting drunk with friends and feeling like it's brought us closer. Mdma does that but it is orders of magnitude stronger. No, I won't take it with strangers, new friends, or even old friends with whom I'm not very close. 10 years ago I would take it with 2 or 3 close friends and we'd spend the night listening to music, dancing, discussing our lives, life in general, and expressing gratitude towards each other. I haven't done this particular drug in around 6 years, and it had been around 5 years before that. However, I don't like the thought of never sharing that experience with someone ever again, and the older I get the less appropriate it seems to share it with anyone but a life partner. I genuinely think that a good shared experience on mdma could be as strong of a bonding experience as a wedding ceremony.

Do you believe drugs can offer genuine social value? Have you ever taken mdma with someone you didn't really like and then regretted it? Have you ever taken it with someone you liked and been glad that you did? Is there a different drug that you would be sad to never be able to share with a life partner?

I've spoken about the value I place on humility and austerity in exploring the world, and also about how much I value intimate, indulgent hedonism. Now I have a different topic which is about groundedness and introspection. It's fun to think about big, deep and complex things. It's fun to have adventures and exciting, stimulating experiences. But all of this is more enjoyable and profound when you know how to appreciate small, self-evident truths, or to accomplish simple and clear goals. What do I mean? Once I understood some basic principles of logic and reasoning, arguments which I used to find compelling suddenly appeared like ignorant wastes of time because I was going through the motions of discussing something important without understanding how to nail down definitions and to stay focused when challenged. Similarly, practicing staying still has led to some of the most significant improvements in my ability to move and to dance. I have always been interested in meditation and for the past few years my primary mode of meditation has been through dancing, where I have the chance to ground myself, to scan my body, to connect with music, to connect with my feelings, to connect with a dance partner, to become in tune with their experience and create space for a shared experience to unfold. Everything we experience is nothing more than the labour of our own minds, so no matter how far we travel in the world, or how closely we connect with a partner, it is not the real thing. We cannot access the real thing, but we are completely capable of understanding the medium through which we experience it. Like leaning close to a photograph and studying the texture of the paper, we can learn about the substance of our lived experience, but it is elusive and difficult to observe. This is why I value the ability to be quiet, to be still, to remove stimulation and reduce complexity until there is something left that I can make sense of. Yes, I want someone to see the world with, to be submerged in mutual passion with, but also someone who can sit in silence and listen to the waves, who understands that good groundwork lays the foundations for elaborate and beautiful things. From little things, big things grow.

Do you like to meditate? Do you think that the quest for knowledge of self has value, or is it a waste of time?

It doesn't feel like a real r4r post without a little "what am I looking for?"
I am looking for a long term relationship with someone with curiosity, optimism and kindness. My past posts are more detailed, but suffice to say that we should have mutual physical attraction, alignment of values and compatibility on things like family, sex and finances. This is probably not the most likely place to find my person but I'll never know where is until it's already happened.