We all want to feel that spark on multiple levels; sex, values, personality, career, lifestyle, family plans, etc. Yet we (is it just me?) can be so afraid of offending people that we end up taking a long time to establish these compatibilities. So why not be more up front? Here is my attempt to tell you who I am without telling you who I am:

Sex: Enjoying memorable sex with a long term partner matters to me. A little rough is fun, but compared to what I see online I feel fairly vanilla and see myself as quite generous - if it isn't fun for both of us, why are we doing it together, right? There are fantasies which live inside my head that I struggle to articulate with partners for fear of making them uncomfortable. Look at my post history to see my kinks. The tl;dr is an emphasis on cumplay within a D/s dynamic. I know the difference between fantasy and reality but also would like a partner who is comfortable with sharing and discussing our fantasies. I prefer to chat with people rather than look at porn, and that is the context of the posts on my profile. Most fundamentally, I find good sex comes with communication, trust and mutual respect, and I generally do not enjoy hook ups or casual sex.

Values: I'm an agnostic atheist. I am fairly very educated (BSc.) and broadly read; I tend to like to view news and current events within a historical and economic context and do not like polarised political debates. There is nuance everywhere you look. Yesterday I saw a guy on the train with a shirt that said "Silence isn't empty; it's full of answers" - I love that sort of esoteric worldview. Like many people right now, I don't feel rich, but being born in this lucky country is a good head start either way. Money isn't important to me, I prefer to spend time with people I care about, doing things which are intrinsically rewarding, or which make me feel like I am contributing meaningfully to something. I prefer to talk and interact rather than watch TV. Raised by second-wave feminists and I believe in human rights for all.

Personality: I like hip hop and EDM music, arthouse movies, contemplative silences, swimming in clear water and conversations which combine the imaginative with the analytical. So I'm obviously a nerd, by most standards, but also physically active and enjoy being outdoors. When you message, tell me a song/artist/genre of music you enjoy to show that you've read the whole post. I am an INTP and a virgo if those things mean anything to you. On the OCEAN scale, I'm high in openness, conscientiousness, and agreeableness, and low in extraversion and neuroticism. I'm low anxiety and emotionally stable. I'm also very patient, there's no rush, if we're both interested, it'll happen. The right person is worth waiting for. A healthy relationship takes great communication, which is a strong point of mine. I also completely understand that mutual respect as humans comes before kink and other levels of connection.

Career: I have been self-employed for 10 years. Maybe one day my entrepreneurship journey will be flashy and cool, but really I just like to be in control of my own time. My work hours tend to be the opposite of most people - I am free during the day M-F and tend to be busy in the evenings. I absolutely have plans to grow and expand in my career, but I have chosen a path where there is no one out there to give me a promotion, it all comes down to the efficacy of my own effort. When I look back on my life, I want to be proud of my family more than my career.

Lifestyle: I don't particularly enjoy repetitive exercise, although I have been experimenting with some weight training lately. I do enjoy being active, swimming, hiking, yardwork and dancing (like, a lot of dancing). Because my work is online, I would love someone else who had similar flexibility to be a digital nomad with me, around Australia and/or internationally as well. I drink very rarely, although I am not against recreational 420 and once-or-twice-yearly psychedelic use.

Family plans: I like to imagine having something like a 5 year 'honeymoon period' with a serious partner, followed by starting a small family with 2 or 3 children.

Appearance: I am tall, healthy, fit and proud of my body. I am seeking someone else who looks after themselves and values a healthy lifestyle. I am big on online safety and am not interested in sharing pics with just anyone, but if we seem to have chemistry then it's fine. Please don't lead with a photo, use your words, help me understand why you want to talk to me.

If you read all of that and don't think I'm an awful human, please consider giving me an upvote because it's pretty brutal getting downvoted for making an M4F post when trying to be open and honest!

Enough about me, for now, how about you?