It’s a Thursday evening. I’ve not long ago come home from the gym & lying on my bed full of laundry which I really should be folding.

I suppose lying here, with my supposed “hype myself to fold laundry” music quietly playing in the background has made the reality of my loneliness hit me like a ton of bricks.

The person I long to come home to, who will answer the phone when I call, respond to the silly little things I text them, agree to the spontaneous Friday night dinner date with the iconic dance party in our living room, staying up late talking life, talking love, the one to laugh with, cry with & cuddle with & watch my favourite sappy romance movies like pride & prejudice or picking out a random game to play on our PCs or even coming along to my my nightly gym session or early morning walks, just does not exist in my reality right now.

What I crave right now is my person, the person I want to share my life with, the one I long for, ready to create moments with & finally at a point where we’re both ready to fall deeply, madly & crazily in love with each other, through our good times & our bad.

Time… the thing I am slowly losing, yet the key to the one thing I truly desire, love. Not the love of a family member, not the love for a friend, not the love for your life passions, but the ability to fall in love with a person, a person who is never perfect, yet perfect in your eyes.

The problem I have is that, although my words may come across as confident, I am socially inept, awkward, deeply introverted & overly sarcastic. Up until recently I’ve never been kind to myself which is created wounds that I’m still healing. Societies standards, the hook up culture, men’s perspective of me has created this large wall that no one has yet to break down. Yet at the very bottom of that wall is a small door I like to call hope, hope that my person will find the key to walk right through & sweep me off my feet.

So, if you’ve read this far, welcome… to the world of me, where my sappy, deluded words of my desires can kill a boner within minutes.

And I suppose if you’re still reading, then one can assume the d*ck is finally out of the hand & the brain is curious about this woman… your future woman, maybe?

So, hi. I am Kiki (that’s my alias… talking to me unlocks the actual name) I’m 32 years old, I was born in Aotearoa (New Zealand) & moved to Australia when I was 10, I’m a smartass, I’m sassy, I’m loyal to the bone (ask my friends, they’ve been stuck with me for close to 20 years), I’m shy at first but once comfortable I could speak to you for hours, I walk every single morning, I gym most afternoons, I like to game, I love to travel & I remain a thicccc b*tch because food is love, food is life, I’m a deep thinker, a great listener & I’m ready, ready to fall in love with someone who is ready for that to… you may be on the opposite side of the world aka the other side of Sydney, but love knows no bounds & if we really want it… we’ll do whatever we can to have it.

So let’s start with a message, maybe even a call… let’s start creating lifelong memories so we can share them with our future kids & grandkids!