TL;DR: Cute, friendly BBW* here, looking for someone with whom to pass the days with steady, consistent banter and a mix of sfw and nsfw conversation. Please put some effort into your message :)

Hi! I know I’m in the wrong place for this, but fuck it!

I’m hoping to find a genuine connection with a rational, adult human that lasts longer than a few hours or days. I like to text throughout the day and ideally you do too. If you’re quick with both responses and wit, I am you girl.

I’m looking for someone who is sweet, interesting and funny enough to hold my attention. More than anything, I just wanna meet someone who makes me smile when I see your messages. We can brighten each other’s days!

I’m married and my husband knows I’m here, so there’s no sneaking on my end. I’d prefer you not be sneaking either, that just gets messy for everyone involved. I’m a big believer in “honesty is the best policy.”

Since I’m primarily looking for friendship, your looks aren’t important here, though I really do love a good beard and a kind smile. I have a strong preference for smart, nerdy guys who have more to say than just “lol.” Again, I like keeping up steady banter throughout the day, so it would be best if you actually have time to text and enjoy all the butterflies that come with it.

I’m interested in someone 30-50. Nothing against you young bucks but I tend to vibe with more experienced folks.

Things I’m immediately turned off by: unsolicited dick pics, expecting me to act like a cam girl instead of a person seeking friendship, slow responders, and ghosting 🚩.

I’m immediately turned on by a good sense of humor and sufficient reading comprehension skills.

If you’re still with me after reading all of that, send me a message and tell me your best dad joke, so I’ll know you read and comprehended this thesis of a post.

I hope to talk to you soon! xx

*if you don’t know whether or not you like BBWs, I’m not the droid you’re looking for.