I read this quote in adultery sub today and I completely resonate with it. I promise to not BS and get down to brass tacks.

I have have had few chats with people here, a few meetups but havent found a match yet. Few reasons

1. Logistics didn't work
2. Communication frequency mismatch
3. We were looking for something different

In all cases I got the feedback: thoughtful, smart, kind, nice, even handsome, cute and don't look my age. I am not trying to to brag here but trying to paint the full picture.

In this whole process I am getting to know myself more and also being more curious about the other person.

This only works if we both know what we want and what we dont, plus we are both honest with each other and give attention other person deserves. Both of us are going out on a limb here and ghosting/faking/flaking is last thing we want.

Oh, another question I get asked: have you tried therapy? Yes I/we have. Happy to share what I learned. Another question: why not leave? Again, happy to share why on chat.

That said, my quest continues. I am looking for the one. I will wait as long as it takes ...

Now onto the details

About Me:

• Married dad with two kids.
• Mid-40s, in good shape (5'10", 175 lbs), salt-and-pepper full head of hair, brown eyes.
• Charming, thoughtful, kind, smart and handsome, as described by potential APs.
• Live and work in Seattle greater area. Steep career trajectory. Love what I do.
• Drug- and disease-free.
• Dead bedroom situation (if you’re in the same boat, I feel for you).
• Outdoorsy: love biking, pickleball, working out.
• A huge sci-fi and board game nerd who loves a great conversation.
• Down-to-earth, grounded, good listener, genuinely curious about others.
• Not into drinking but love good food and good company.
• Discreet, understanding, honest and respectful of your boundaries

About You:

• You've built a life based on doing what’s right: Caring husband, Loving family, Rewarding job
• Life is steady, comfortable, and good—yet there’s an underlying longing for something more.
• The familiar routine feels almost too predictable, sparking curiosity about life beyond “good.”
• Stability is fulfilling, but the idea of a little thrill is enticing.
• Near my age and within about 2 hours of Seattle.
• Careful and discreet to indulge into this lifestyle.
• A space to set aside the dutiful role, embrace a hidden, wilder side.
• Down to swap pics early on—let’s be respectful of each other’s time

You want

• Emotional connection
• Looking for friendship first; if there’s a vibe, maybe more.
• Real, genuine, and open to something that could be long-term.
• To dress up and feel captivating
• To be noticed, desired, and admired with a spark of possessiveness
• There's a craving for a taste of the forbidden: Just enough to rekindle appreciation for the life you've built

What I’m Looking For:

• One real connection ... I have a vast friend circle but missing the one connection where I can be truly myself
• Open to catching feelings—because I believe love doesn’t have to be a zero-sum game.
• This isn’t just about sex; it’s about finding someone to feel alive with.

Bonus

If you’re into fitness, even better! I’m heavy into working out and can even coach a bit—strength training, biking, pickleball, you name it. Maybe we start there and see if we vibe. Very low effort and if nothing else comes out of it, you at least got the workout.