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Hey there, Reddit!

I've been thinking about what I want and it seems pretty simple, in theory - I want to connect with someone who treats me like a human.

I say "simple in theory" because well...it can't be that simple or more people would actually do it.

I know that many of these subreddits are sex-focused - and that's great - I like sex! It's fun! But, it's not my whole personality. I don't want to discuss it with someone I've just met. Why? Because sex is way way (way) more fun when you have a connection with the person you're doing it with.

People often ask me what I look for in a guy, expecting me to say that I want someone with a certain physique or that I'll list some generic personality traits like "Funny, kind and respectful." But really, I don't feel like it can be summed up that easily. If I have great chemistry and conversation with someone they become more attractive - and the people I have the best chemistry with are the ones who are able to see the human behind these online interactions.

That being said...we gotta start somewhere, right? So, without further ado, here is my List Of Things:

//Me//

-40 years old

• currently separated (not divorced yet because that shit is expensive)

• I live about one hour north of Seattle - think Everett with extra steps

• I have kids that I adore but am unable to have more

• I'm "curvy" and of average height

• I'm a cat lady

• I am kid-free (read: available to hang out) three days per week

• I have HSV2 (I'm telling you now so you can nope out ahead of time if that's a deal-breaker for you - I'm on daily suppressive meds and haven't given it to anyone since diagnosed 10 years ago)

• I'm currently dating two people that I adore but don't see often enough

• very very left, a feminist and don't believe that you have to suffer to be virtuous

//Looking For//

• A long-term/ongoing relationship that is more than FWB but less than marriage/cohabitation. Basically - I like company and partnership. I want my partner to be a part of my life but not the center of my universe. I value emotional intimacy, prioritization and straightforward and thoughtful communication

• Looking for "monogamish" a la Dan Savage

• someone that I can hang out with once or twice a week

-Not looking to date someone who is married/already in a primary partnership

• someone who is highly aware of the burdens of mental, emotional and household labor and does their fair share of it

• 27 years or older

• lives no more than 30 miles from Everett

• left-leaning

• someone who is willing to consistently chat for a bit before we meet up IRL

Good luck out there!