Why am I looking to cheat?

I am in the Dead bedroom because of mismatched libido. She doesn't need sex. It's not a medical thing. Her love language is words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving / giving / making gifts / things, quality time. Not physical touch. I saw early signs but wishfully thought she would gain this love language. After kids, whatever was there, it disappeared in black hole. For me, it's an expression of love. In its absence, I feel there is no air to breathe, I feel not wanted and desired, I often cry myself to sleep. Yes I have expressed my feelings to her, including in the presence of a therapist. She simply doesn't want it.

Have I cheated before?

Yes I have. It took a lot out of me to take this step, but I am glad I did. It lasted for 2 years and she made me whole. With her I felt hopeful and content. It came to an end when she moved away. It was an incredible connection in 3 ways: emotional, intellectual and physical.

What am I looking for?

I am looking to recreate those moments, make me and my partner’s life whole. Fill the gap thats there. Enjoy all life has to offer away.

What can I offer?

4 things

1. Reliability. I understand how hard it can be when you’re not getting the attention you deserve. I’m not flaky, and I’ll be present, showing up when you need someone to talk to, share with, or just be around.

2. Emotional connection. I’m not looking for a quick fling. I believe that real intimacy comes after forming a solid bond of trust and friendship. The emotional connection always makes the physical connection more rewarding, and that’s what I’m after.

3. Health and fitness: I’m in good shape, both mentally and physically. I believe that’s part of showing respect to my partner. I’ve worked hard to stay healthy and attractive, and I want to bring my best self into this relationship.

4. Trust, honesty and respect: In this entire list, this is the most important thing I can offer. Once I feel we are a potential match, I will open up like a book and let you read all you want. Good, bad and ugly. This way you can make informed choice.

Am I not a hypocrite looking for honesty in cheating?

2 things

1. I’ve been in this place before, and I know exactly why I’m here. I’ve made peace with my choices, and I’ve learned how to balance the different aspects of my life. There’s space for everything—my family, my work, and a connection that’s just for me and you.

2. I don’t believe love or affection is a limited resource. The more you give, the more it grows. I’m looking for someone who understands that and is ready to share something meaningful.

Ok, so who am I, what do I look like? What am I passionate about?

I am a married dad of 2 teenagers. I enjoy the outdoors, biking, playing pickleball, intellectually stimulating talks, and discussing books. 45, 5'10, 175 lbs, salt and pepper full head of hair, brown eyes, handsome (from potential APs), drug & disease free, well established career in Seattle. In Bellevue. Dont drink, but enjoy the company over food.drink. Down to earth, chill, easy to talk to. Genuinely curious. Great listener. Big sci-fi nerd and into a lot of board games.

What am I looking for?

Someone who is similar to me. Married, ideally have kids, in a dead bedroom situation. Looking for a friend first and then anything else, not fake / flake. Prefer someone close to my age. Within 2 hours of Seattle. I am only seeking one person long term; this is not all about sex. Happy to swap pics early on so we don't waste each other's time.

Ask me anything.