(ABOUT ME) You see a man sitting at a table, behind a Dungeon Master's screen. He's tall, you'd estimate about 5'11", and quite slender, with long hair for a guy; down to about his collarbones, and a clean shaven face. He's wearing black skinny jeans and a band t-shirt.

"Come, join my table!" He calls out. What's that? Insight check? Yeah, sure, roll it.

You got a 23?

Okay, so, you get the vibe that this guy's absolutely a leftie. He's got his pronouns on a name plate on his DM screen and this, combined with a few other subtle details, suggests that he's a feminist, an LGBTQIA ally, POC ally, and accessibility advocate. The fact that he has his name facing outwards on the DM screen suggests that he plays with a lot of people that don't know him that well. Combined with all the stacks of books, you can deduce he's a semi-professional Dungeon Master. He's got multiple years of D&D experience; looking at the state of his Player's Handbook, you'd guess about 7. Combined with what you learned from his post on Reddit, you know that this is someone who would welcome anyone at his table, regardless of experience level, and, in fact, actively encourages new players to join this campaign.

"Welcome," he announces, "To my 'Oops! All Sluts!' D&D 5th Edition Campaign. And, no, I don't mean an all Bards campaign!" he jokes in a way that makes you expect a lot of dumb puns throughout the game and a general encouragement of silliness and shenanigans.

(WHAT I WANT) Looking around at the other players at the table, you see an assortment of women and/or femme enbies in an assortment of tiny skirts, low cut tops, latex bodysuits and the like. One of the more daring players is just sitting there in nothing but a strappy bra and matching g-string. Looking down at your own outfit, you remember the condition of playing at the table: you have to look hot as fuck and wear something absolutely scandalous. Skimpy outfits, lingerie, kink gear, latex; whatever you want, so long as the look is hypersexual, you were all clear to play. Your parents would disapprove of you wearing the first outfit you put together, so when you went back into the closet and found an outfit several steps sluttier, it felt you had the right choice for the game. You sit down and reach into your bag, pushing aside the clothes you wore here, and pull out your character sheet and dice.

You want to roll persuasion? Sure! What did you want to convince the DM to do? Let you start the campaign with a magical item? That's going to be a high DC but you're welcome to roll for i- Oh, you want to offer to trade for real life sexual favours? Well, that's not a condition of play at the table, nor is it expected, but it's absolutely something that he's open to, so that definitely lowers the DC! Oh, and if you're any combination of short, waifish, heavily-tattooed, kinky, and/or stereotypically nerdy in appearance, you can roll with advantage to convince him to make that trade!

Nat 20? Hell yeah! Oh, he is absolutely down to make that trade...

(WHAT I OFFER) Okay, putting the bit aside for this last section for the sake of clarity: I can host 4 to 6 players comfortably, I'm based in the inner north-west, I'm a great cook; so my D&D snack game is usually on point, and I want to run a D&D game 1 to 2 times a month where all the players are eye candy; so, y'know, that's probably an upside for any bi/pan/queer girls out there.

If you're DTF, I'm DDF and I've also had a medical professional stab me in the arm twice, so, should be reasonably virus safe. Speaking of which, with the spread as fast as it's going, I would expect this to be an online campaign to start with, given that it's a lot harder to catch COVID that way, and then moving the campaign to in-person once things are better sorted out. (Side note: fuck ScoMo)

If you'll 'accept the quest', sent me a chat or a PM with a little bit about yourself and your history with D&D. If you like my vibe, but aren't sure about the D&D thing, I have older personals posts you can check out on my profile that are more focused on me.