For me, I see a future with a community of people hell-bent on lifting one another up. Where people's individual differences and non-financial contributions are valued. Where just being in the same space is enough. These are times where community is more necessary than ever, where truth, compassion and diversity of experience is paramount. Things feel so out of control, you know - out there in the world. I guess all we can look to, is what is in our control, for me that is making the lives of those around me, and my life better by living intentionally and kindly. We will all get it wrong, but it is the drive to live in accordance with our values, and keep trying, growing and improving - however we consider improvement. I think good friends hold each other to their values, and what they say they want for themselves and it is rare to find the kind of trust and bond that allows for the vulnerability to support growth. But, if you don't ask you won't find, right?

Who am I

General stats:

• 34, Female
• Employed full-time in a demanding industry
• Melbourne - North 'burbs (are you surprised?)
• Married, ENM, not actively looking for romantic partners, but not closed to the possibility - not the primary goal.
• Charisma and luck: Variable.

General interests/activities:

• Music (playing) - I have played instruments in the past, and more recently taught myself one over covid but play when the hyperfixation takes me.
• Music (listening) - I listen to music almost all the time, day and night. My taste is varied and I'll generally be able to find something I like in any genre. I gravitate toward Chill EDM, post-rock, ambient, classic, especially anything that can be considered a soundscape. I also like going to gigs, I'm seeing God is an Astronaut, Tijuana Cartel and Billie Eilish so far this year, would love to see Ryoksopp, Elderbrook or Caribou.
• Art and Museums - I enjoy going to galleries, looking at interesting things and historical artefacts. This is a large part of my travels and something I enjoy doing regularly. I prefer contemporary, minimalist, abstract and surreal art but appreciate anything with a degree of thought or ability to extract emotion. I enjoy creating art, and doing arty things - I've recently tried collage, and would like to try watercolour. I have done pottery in the past, I enjoy painting, colouring and photography and digital art. I also enjoy architecture and civil design.
• Gaming - I am a gamer and have been for a very long time. It is not a hobby I've "fallen out of" in my adulthood, and a primary way I connect with others and spend my "free time". I enjoy parallel play as well as co-op. I also enjoy board games, although have a hard time getting into some of them especially where there are a lot of rules and instructions. Below are some games I play consistently and would be willing to parallel play/stream, share or play together, I am open to suggestions for other games however I will be honest if I'm not into it:
  • Deep Rock Galactic / DRG Survivor
  • League of Legends (because I clearly hate myself) - I only play ARAM now.
  • Frostpunk - 1 & 2
  • Against the Storm
  • Beatsaber - I play almost every day and am considering starting to map!
• Nature and activity - I enjoy hiking and climbing, I am active and do mobility/resistance training every day to ensure I can continue doing these activities for a long time. This also assists with my pain conditions and ensures that I can continue the activities I enjoy doing - like music, gaming and art.
• Animals - I love animals. I enjoy reading and learning about them and grew up loving Animal planet and Attenborough documentaries, I have a few rescue cats, I enjoy going to sanctuaries like Edgar's Mission. I don't buy or consume animal products.
• Food - I enjoy cooking and eating delicious food. I have a decent understanding of nutrition and cooking techniques, I find diet culture abhorrent.

While interests and activities, provide a means to spend time - most importantly, I possess and am looking for people who consider themselves to possess or are working to possess the following qualities (you might have your own words):

Accountability:

Accountable for our beliefs, views and the intention/thought that founds them. Accountable for the impact we have on those and the community/environment around us. I value reason, perception and self-awareness - all of which are required to take accountability for our behaviors and emotions. No one is perfect, we all mess up, we all hurt others, but accountability allows us to grow and learn.

Consideration:

Holding space for others in the way that they need it - rather than what you would want and need. This involves open and direct communication about needs and expectations, as well as the recognition of the internal, subjective and lived experiences of others.

Consideration and respect of ones own needs - able to communicate what you need, how you like support, how you think and how you regulate. This enables reciprocity, and supports emotional intelligence and regulation.

I am able to hold a space for others free of judgement, which considers the individual, their experience and their sensitivities. I am finding more and more, that others are unable or unwilling to provide the same and I would love to connect with someone/others who can be vulnerable and provide support.

Emotional awareness and regulation:

Being aware of, and understanding your reactions and triggers and their subsequent impacts. This is a skill like any other and something that I have worked diligently on, and continue to do so. I reframe the actions of others, empathize and try to consider the best intent on someone else's behalf. If a conflict arises, or I have been hurt I directly and kindly communicate this and seek to understand rather than blame or assume someone's intent.

This is something that takes self awareness, time and effort. It is something we all, as humans get wrong or fail to manage well at some point - which is why accountability and consideration is important.

We all have our own subjective experiences, triggers, trauma, shame and stressors, it is important to consider your own state before reacting. I connect well with others who are developing and improving this skill, and are able to approach conflict with understanding and self advocacy.

Everyone has stuff in their trunk, but it is the individuals responsibility to manage and sort through that stuff.

Open-mindedness / curiosity

To experience, to see and to understand the world around us. This will look different to different people - for me it is knowledge, travel, new experiences, creating things and listening to others experiences, ideas and passions.

Truth and Honesty

I value honesty, not (just) convenient honesty. Even when it hurts, conflicts with your beliefs or values. Truth and honesty is important and allows for self-reflection, progress and growth.

This does not mean that one can be unkind or cruel. Intention matters.

Who you be

• Over 30
• Any gender identity/expression
• ND folk very welcomed.
• No bigots, misogynists, racists etc etc be good human
• Have some common ground in activities/interests.
• Have/working toward the qualities mentioned above.
• Can sustain digital communication, in person meets/activities can vary throughout the year with adult business/responsibilities.
• Ideally, you don't have kids - or they're self-sufficient.

Managing expectations

I am a busy professional, who also has to manage my health and wellbeing - my time and availability may be limited or fluctuate. I can commit to notifying you when I withdraw to deal with stuff. This is one of the key reasons digital communication is important for sustaining a connection.

If you choose to message me please consider the following:

1. I put effort into this post - I expect effort in the response. One line messages or messages devoid of content will not receive a response.
2. Please outline what you are looking for - especially if there is a romantic interest I'd prefer to know up front
3. Please let me know why you think we are compatible
4. If you read all this let me know what your favourite animal is and why.

Appreciate anyone who got this far and the community generally.