Good morrow m'ladies of reddit,
I'm kidding. I'm normal. Ish. Normal-adjacent. I'm within the vicinity of normal. I will now demonstrate this by henceforth referring to you as women, rather than m'ladies or females. Huh? Impressive, hey?
Alright now about the ad - I'm a single, 33 year old guy living on my own in the inner east. I am not interested in dating right now and I'm not fond of one night stands so I was hoping to find an ongoing FWB type situation. Wow! I shouldn't really write "wow!" for that but I'm trying to keep your attention. And it's working because if it wasn't no one would read this particular sentence but you just did so there.
Okay, brass tax. I'm Caucasian (my parents are from Caucas but I was born here), I'm 6'2" (alright I'm 6'1.5" but does it really matter? Why are you shallow about half an inch? Be better), 90kg and not a bad dude. Brown hair, green eyes, and people other than my mum tell me I'm good looking (aiming for 'modest' here but may have overcorrected). I am also very often in gyms doing gym things.
About you (hey, thanks for sticking around this far. I appreciate it): Look, when I picture this in my head, there's a swirling blur of a person with nondescript features. No specific prerequisite other than me finding you attractive. You could be that swirling blur.
I mean there are other prerequisites obviously but none about looks. Or a particular age. You do have to be drug and disease free. Well sexually transmitted diseases, I mean. I'm not gonna hold it against you if you have diabetes or cancer or something (cancer?! shoutout to the chemo ward where apparently the patients often browse r4rmelbourne. Hang in there! That was too dark. I'm messing this up.)
What can I offer: (I'm realising I'm taking way too long with this now, hold on just a bit longer please). Just good company I guess? Am I meant to bid here? I'm a reliable dude (vaguely normal as we established earlier) with a tastefully decorated, clean and tidy apartment.
I would love to also just hang out and watch a movie or a have an ongoing show or even just spend an hour scrolling through the Netflix catalogue together. I mean, along with sex. I just realised I never said it, but those are the benefits in 'FWB'. Sexual benefits. Did you think you were getting free extras like dental and physiotherapy? No! I'm pretty decent at it. Usually one time with me is all women will need ;) (why is ';)' sleazier than any filth I could have written?)
Wow! Message me! Or don't, whatever, it's not like I spent 10 minutes writing this post or anything.
P. S. There's an NSFW 18 tag without NSFW content because I mean... well hopefully everyone is at least 18 here, if not you need to get off reddit and go play with your friends. And stop saying skibidi I fucking hate that
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