No experience needed, applicant will be trained
Paid in memes and pup pics
Must work weekends and holidays
Must be fluent in sarcasm
Must come in early and stay late
Benefits include being my bff and that’s about the best benefit ever.
I'm guessing you're wanting to know about me now huh? Well you're in luck because I feel like sharing some Fun Hobbies (lol jk they aren't fun at all, kinda sad TBH) I like to partake in, here there are!
Hobbies include...
Switching between the same 4 apps for hours.
Not speaking to anyone for days at a time.
Listening to the same songs i listened to 15 years ago.
Putting myself in situations that will never exist
Long walks to the liquor store.
Staying in my pajamas way too long.
Staying up wayyyy too late.
Being tired all day due to previous statement.
Drinking everything but water.
Putting stuff in my cart online but never checking out.
Making lists of things i will never do.
So yeah! If that sounds like your type of friend, hit me with an orange envelope. Mention the phrase Pineapple on pizza so I know you read the entire thing please 😊
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