I alternate between not needing anyone and thinking human interactions require too much work to even work to wishing to be soul deep in a connection so profoundly rare I’m forever changed and better in existence with. To be special with someone.

So I guess you could say polarization is a thing with me.

Of the late tho is the overwhelming loneliness that looms over and around me. Maybe wen I’m okay with myself that I don’t need or would want anyone. But then in not knowing anyone am I able to focus on myself. I have been focusing on myself.

I will say I’m a bit adverse to posting. I feel a sense of hopelessness in constantly putting myself out here. There’s a self fulfilling prophecy of things won’t change. But we're alive and we gotta keep kicking in the meantime. Idk I’ve always been more initiative-ly motivated hence this beautiful wall of text. You’re welcome btw. Sorry I’m a bit nervous and therefore wordy wen I get nervous... I long for warm connections. For human interactions. I’ve always enjoyed sharing insights. I want to share my view. I wanna see yours. Where’s your mind? Mines right here. What are you working on? Towards?

I realize I’m a bit all over the place so I’m trying to create a more solid base. As in, to reorganize my material possessions and really dig deep into what matters in my life. I’m missing out on experiences. Traveling. Perspective! All of which will undoubtably be a long adventure of self discovery and growth. Is there a place for me in this big world? Will I exceed my potential or is potential but a dream?

So me. Who am I? What do I do? What do I believe in? What’s my main motivation? These things are always changing with time. I suppose I could write down things that’d be hard to change but I would prefer these things to be in the format of riveting conversation rather than listing off things about myself. Conversation seems to be a dying art.

Im from US. Specially Midwest. CST. I have a shitton of hobbies. Things like self improvement, reading, learning new shit, working on new projects. Jigsaw puzzles. Face care is oddly relaxing. Exercising ish. Im getting old. I am 420 friendly (edibles). I don’t like exchanging photos to see if we’re “real” or if you’re wanting to “know” me. I feel like there’s too much expectation there so I’d like to avoid it completely (we can talk about this further). Im open to connections and for the most part organic relations… And I’d like to stress I’m not interested in anything sexual. Putting it here for transparency. I’m demi sexual anyway so it’s already pretty uncomfortable for me.

I guess I leave with this; Real recognize real. If you think we’d get along please reach out to me.