I'll try to explain myself as efficiently as possible. So, prepare for a lot of reading. I am anything but concise. At least I use bullet points.

• raised by narcissists
• homeschooled till 16
• devoted to study and learning, with general working knowledge of:
  • math (I adore abstract algebra)
  • physics (haven't gotten around to learning quantum mechanics yet though)
  • art (I make abstract digital art sometimes)
  • music (I've published two albums of dark ambient)
  • poetry (I've written over a hundred poems)
  • game design (multiple games await birth in my brain)
  • linguistics (I've invented multiple constructed languages)
  • psychology (I self-analyze a LOT)
  • numerous religions and spiritual systems (I used to be and to an extent still am a mystic)
• extremely socially isolated throughout childhood and adolescence
  • I had one friend in person for a few months when I was 8
  • the next time was when I was 21
  • nearly all of my socialization my entire life has been purely online
• did not go to college, because:
  • it saddled my elder brother with debt without providing any good jobs
  • I didn't see the point when I can learn on my own without paying anyone anything
  • the idea of leaving home and being around strangers scared me
• refuse to "work", because:
  • it's a load of exploitative bullshit
  • I'm not willing to rent out my body and brain for eight hours a day for a pittance when I could be investing in my own intellectual and emotional growth
  • that said, I have volunteered at a recycling center and a local organic farm before
• never yet left home, and rarely even leave my bedroom, because:
  • I have so little experience of life outside the tiny world I've grown up in that everything frightens me - I'm mildly agoraphobic
  • I find physical interaction with other people overwhelming for the most part - I have a lot of social anxiety
  • my upbringing traumatized me in various ways
• when I was between the ages of 11 and 15, motivated by escapism and by an intense longing for a Mystery I could not define, I developed an idiosyncratic (but I think universally applicable) worldview / philosophy / religion / mystical path / vision of the future / thingy, which I call the Great Dream, and which remains my overriding passion and basically the only thing I care about to this day, using elements from:
  • New Age philosophy
  • Neopaganism (particularly druidry)
  • traditional witchcraft
  • Buddhism
  • Gnosticism
  • transhumanism
  • scientific rationalism
  • deep ecology
  • various works of fiction in which I found hidden spiritual meanings
  • my own independent revelations due to my occult / mystical practice
• I've been trying for years to figure out how to explain the Dream in a book or wiki, but it seems that to explain it, I would have to explain my whole self, as it's all deeply bound up with my identity and life experience, and I have a spaghetti brain where there is no order or structure and things just remind me of other things. Every attempt ends in failure and self-loathing.
• I desperately need the aid of people who:
  • believe human nature is basically good but that our society is sick
  • are optimistic and believe all problems can be solved
  • are highly empathic and wish to help all sentient beings liberate themselves
  • have highly intelligent and inquisitive minds
  • enjoy conversing in depth about complex topics
  • are willing to spend a long time getting to know me and my discoveries to help me organize them
• General idea: the Great Dream is a Child's answer to the question of the cosmos.
  • It's a vision of a future world wherein technology and social change, motivated by spirituality and in harmony with ecology,
  • have for each individual sentient being (which includes all the nonhuman ones) eliminated all constraints on their experience of existence not freely chosen by them,
  • up to and including death, suffering, coercion, ignorance of the nature of existence (which includes lack of self-awareness), externally imposed systems of control (like capitalism and the state), and most of what we call "reality",
  • and each being is free to roam the multiverse of all possible worlds and timelines, seeking wisdom and beauty and Mystery without end.
  • There is a kind of divinity, but not an angry father god who rains down abusive authoritarianism from heaven - rather, an Eternal Child, the princess of dreams, who is like a small wildflower growing up between the cracks in the sidewalk, a force of hope and Wonder immanent in each individual innocent being.
  • There's other stuff - a lot of other stuff, like thirteen years of it - but that's the most important part nowadays.
• I know how exactly to make this happen within my own lifetime -
  • it's entirely possible within the laws of physics as we know them -
  • that's most of what I've spent so long thinking about! -
  • but it would take the collaboration of millions of people over a period of decades.
• I'm also into dudes and would love to have a hot boyfriend who gets me and appreciates this stuff. But it's hard to find such a person. That's not what I'm looking for in this post specifically, and I'm open to anyone willing to help and not using this simply as a very weird way to hit on people, but I might as well mention it just in case. :3
• No, I'm not trying to start a cult. Reading "Combating Cult Mind Control" by Steven Hassan if you worry that I will brainwash you, and then you'll be able to counter it if I try to. :P
• Yes, I know I can't save anyone else till I save myself. Working on it. :)