Did you miss out on cuffing season? Have your friends gotten boyfriends and now disappear for days or weeks on end? And when you hang out with them, do you have to watch them do all that gross couple stuff? Are they ditching you for MLK day weekend to go on some couples ski trip? Aww how cute! Leaving you to fight for yourself during the snow/rain on Saturday?

Well we have a potential solution for you to solve those cold, lonely nights or even having to go to those couple events alone. For a limited time only and while supplies last, we are selling our generic NYC male that comes in three models.

• Option 1 - "The Basic Fuck Buddy Model": This is our most basic package. It includes limited to no time outside the bedroom and limited advanced booking options. Ideal for those who may go out on the weekends but want a back-up plan in case they don't meet anyone. Or if you have a rough day at work and want someone to come over with a bottle of wine, give you a massage (and go down on you).

• Option 2 - "The Friend with Benefits Model" - Our most popular product includes many of the aforementioned 'benefits' but also includes time outside the bedroom, extended and overnight sessions, and advanced booking. Ideal for situations like this Saturday night where it is going to rain/snow. You don't want to go out but wouldn't mind some company either at the corner bar or a nice Netflix night with above average cuddling and ice cream (because it is never too cold for ice cream). This model does particularly well at board and bar games, just don't expect it to let you win. Besides going to the bar or a Netflix night, this model can also include other events like going to the gym or exploring NYC so long as they aren't romantic. Or if they are romantic, like perhaps ice skating, we spend the entire time making fun of the couples there (and maybe tripping them, probably not, but maybe). Gets some access to model's humor and conversational skills.

• Option 3 - "The Fake Boyfriend Model" - Our top of the line model is ideal for those looking to really get to know their model on a personal level. Engaging and stimulating conversation is what we seek to provide so that you know each other on a personal level. Varying degrees of romanticism depending on buyer's needs but could include romantic dinners where you are wined and dined, or someone to go with you to a show or event that you've been wanting to go do. This model also includes the ability to introduce them to your friends and an ability to take part in their dreaded couple events. Could even involve some light travel outside the city. Add-ons include texting frequency, PDA (such as holding hands while ice skating), and higher levels of romanticism (like flowers, Valentine's Day events, or other romantic gestures). We are working on an additional feature which would include removing the 'Fake' from 'Fake Boyfriend Model' but it is still in testing and has had glitches in the past.

These winter models will last for ~3 months before they melt away. Just in time for Spring when you'll gain your friends back from their ill-conceived relationships. Although we are working on a spring-time model that may also include a Wedding date option.

About our model: A generic 6' white male. ~30 years old. Educated and abreast of current events. Decent conversationalist with a dry sense of humor. Slightly more likely to be at the bar than the gym but known to be versatile. Can't cook but orders a nasty seamless and always saves room for dessert.

We would ask that you reply with your preferred model choice along with a little bit about yourself and what you want out of the model. Given we have poured countless hours, nay years, into this endeavor, we want to make sure that you are a good fit and limit the likelihood of a return. That said, we do have a 15-day return policy, no questions asked, if you would like to give it a test run. Lastly, try your best not to fall in love with the model. We know that may be hard as we've grown quite fond of the model as well but there is no guarantee of the model beyond 3 months.

But act fast and order yours today. Supply is extremely limited and applications will be evaluated on a first-come, first-serve basis (pun intended?).

Posted on DirtyR4R but didn't want it to necessarily get lost in the Thirstiness over there.