I’m looking for someone who likes to send flirty texts occasionally. Someone to debate politics, or podcasts, or whatever. Sometimes the conversation flows easily. I’m looking to find a person who is physically close enough that we could actually meet if we hit it off. Everything is easy when chemistry is flowing. Feel free to reach out just to chat. No pressure. Send me a note if this sounds like you. I’m in an ethically nonmonogamous relationship. Feel free to ask me anything. If you’d like to know more, read my Q&A below, or my prior posts.

Q: Ethically non monogamous. That’s a word jumble. You’re married, right?

A: I am married, absolutely.

Q: Are you looking to cheat on your wife?

A: No, I am not cheating at all. Sometimes my wife or I go on dates. It’s really not that complicated.

Q: How did you start doing this? This seems crazy.

A: Less than a year ago, my wife and I went to a swingers club randomly. Pretty quickly, we decided that this was for us, and we incorporated some of that into our lives. It’s been lots of fun. Most of our interactions are with other couples

Q: Are you looking to hook up with Internet randos then?

A: No. I enjoy meeting new people, getting to know them, and seeing where things go. I’m not looking to immediately hook up with someone. L

Q: A girlfriend then?

A: Depends what you mean like that. I would not ask for any sort of exclusive commitment from someone.

Q: Are you ... umm... screwing a lot of people then?

A: Not at all. When people say they have an open relationship, some people imagine a preposterous amount of promiscuity. Or that I’m looking to book a hotel room before even meeting. That’s insane. Open does not mean easy. Right now, I have nothing going on except the relationship with my wife.

Q: Are you looking for a FWB then?

A: Perhaps. Lets put an emphasis on the “friends” part.

Q: Let’s talk about the person you’re looking to meet. How would you feel about some one who is married?

A: That would be great. People have their own deals in their marriages. Ideally, I’d prefer someone who is fairly happy in their own marriage.

Q: How about a single woman?

A: I think there are a lot of single people who would like a low stakes friendship, where an exclusive commitment, a large time commitment, or a complicated and involved situation is just not on the table. Maybe a single woman who wants to go on dates from time to time, get to know someone new, and see if there is some fun chemistry.

Q: I’m wondering about your wife. How do you feel about her? Are you looking to fill some sort of void?

A: Not at all. I am completely in love with my wife. We have children, careers, a home, great intimacy, and a wonderful life.

Q: How would you feel if one of your new friends wanted to meet your wife.

A: My wife would be happy to meet a new friend of mine. Actually... I usually offer to people that they could speak with my wife. Most people I’ve met have not chosen to reach out to her. However, in the beginning of the year I had a brief fling with a woman. She has met my wife. Now, I’m no longer seeing this woman, but she’s still great friends with my wife. They text and hang out sometimes. Isn’t it strange how things work out?

Q: You have a couple of posts here on Reddit, how has that gone?

A: Usually, every time I post something, a couple of people reach out. At a minimum, I have a fascinating conversation with someone. Once, while chatting with a new Reddit friend, we discovered one of 17th century ancestors probably murdered a bunch of her 17th century relatives.... sorry about that. One friend, we really just sent dadjokes to each other. I’ve met a couple Reddit people in real life in the last couple months, and they are invariably fascinating individuals. I try to keep things low stakes, just have a drink or something, and it’s always a fun time.

Q: Let’s talk about you. Tell us more about Zenfrog.

A: Every winter I go skiing about 10-20 times. I love Vermont. In the summer, you’ll I’ve traveled across the USA several times in my life. I like strangely deep conversations about obscure topics.

If you want to know anything else, feel free to ask. And if you really just read all that, send me a DM, no matter who or where you are 🙂