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I'm having a hard time writing this. Normally, or rather, writing has been easy. Was easy. Easier. It's difficult now, because I'm unsure what it is I really want. Am I lonely? Am I bored? Am I'm trying to escape my life by wishing to find someone I can lose myself in? It's very unflattering. To try to find myself, amidst the confusion. I don't wish to meet someone or anyone meet me, when they're confused. But it's hard. Hard is weird. Hard is like stop. People use it to associate with difficulty, "so yeah". I wonder, when did we stop trying to make sense of it all? So, yeah. It's hard, difficult--When did that become the stopping point? Generally. I'm sure there are some super effective reverse psychology people out there (for/against) and I get it. You fighty. But us, us passive little bitches... We not. I don't know what I want. I mean, I have some idea, but maybe I'm beyond help. Or, rather, beyond life. I'll be fine. I don't need help. I have no doubt, but not knowing... Holding onto hope? There is no greater torture.
I want to meet someone. Someone who can love me like I'm magical. Or special. Platonically, romantically. Who believes... A strong foundation is more important than starting something new. Who can look at their skype/discord and feel sad because people deleted you. Or how many people you've deleted. You're not suppose to say what you don't want-because if you do, you'll attract it. Law of attraction-I think, I never read the book. And I'm slightly superstitious. I want someone who's put together and can go the distance. If that's you, come talk to me. Stay a while.
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