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1996 Vintage Italian Australian Male. Only 8 months romantic mileage, which some consider not enough to properly get the engine running, but we believe he can keep up with the best of them.
Comes standard with pre-set programs for cuddling, cooking, gaming, binge-watching, and forcing you to listen to him telling horrible puns then hugging you till you forgive him. New interest-integration feature programmed with Pokemon, the "Walking with" Documentaries, Star Wars, and most other standard pop-culture fare.
Product is on the heavy side, with a durable 100kg frame, but this weight has been offset with cuddle-beneficial materials to better bolster his cuddle capabilities. Compact design, fitting to a solid 175cm height limit. Emotional capabilities have a small issue with overclocking on both ends of the meter, but the product has been programmed to do whatever possible to never make his problems yours.
As for payment, with consideration to the defects listed above, we've settled on a very reasonable price. Just one cup of coffee, and chances are, he's already yours.
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- 7 years ago
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