I want you to PM me nothing but a "hi." Make absolutely certain that you don't tell me anything about yourself or ask me any questions. When I reply, no matter of what degree of quality, I want you to respond with somewhere between one word and one sentence. A "haha" or "lol" would be acceptable. Maybe just a single letter like "k" would be adequate.

After we've done a reasonable amount of back-and-forth, having cracked your "but im so shy!" shell, I want you to suddenly become either a weirdo or an asshole. Bonus for both. Let your social awkwardness and entitlement complex really shine here. Start making demands of me with no promise of reciprocation. Get really unreasonable. Get really defensive, aggressive, or sad when I defy you or attempt to brush you off. Start berating me and swearing at me for no reason. But also be as vague with your intentions as possible. Drop hints that you think are subtle but are actually not at all about being desperate for a boyfriend. Make sure you start explaining your dating failures with a laundry list of flaws, but conveniently forget to mention how you've put 0 effort into actually bettering yourself as a person or trying to acquire a boyfriend.

Creepy gay men conveniently ignoring the [M4F] in the post title are fine. Make sure to flirt hard right away. Early on, start making cutesy requests of things that would satisfy your bizarre fetishes like pictures of my feet in lukewarm gravy, or grainy early-2000s cell phone video clips of me rubbing cotto salami through my chest hair. Spontaneously create a throwaway, if you like, for extra anonymous internet creeper flair.

At random, you should stop responding for no reason. It could be three one-sentence replies in, or it could be just as the conversation actually starts getting worthwhile. If an hour goes by, and I shoot you a, "Hey, you still there?" I want you to wait something ridiculous like three days before replying with, "o sory! i fell alseep then me mum called me for diner i have to delete this accunt now srry k thx by!" But instead of deleting your account, I will see a post of yours about 20 minutes later complaining about how it's just impossible to find anybody that can hold a conversation on this infernal website. "Entertain me" will be in your post title.

PS: If you have an account used primarily to comment on /r/ladybonersgw or similar, even better. There may be nothing inherently sexual about my post, but damn it, you don't care. This is who you really are, and you want the world to know. You shouldn't have to hide it. Your primary hobbies - NAY! - your ONLY hobbies are complimenting the bodies of online strangers, writing cheesecake Picard/Harry Potter erotic cross-fiction, and discussing the artistic merits of violent bondage.