I'm single. In theory this means I want to find someone, in practice it comes and goes way too often. So Instead I look for a friend, just. One friend. Why just one? Cause in real life, and online. I have many friends, but I don't have any friends that fit the bill of curvy goddess I could hypothetically love on.

And man. Look. Look at me. I'm 6'1. Funny. I bathe. I read. Great stuff. Great resume. "oh man he sounds great!"

I forgot where I was going with that. Hold on... oh. I'm uncomplicated. If I like you thats locked in. I don't like. I don't bring. Complications. Life will. life will be like " oh man your left ass cheek is numb for a week because you sat on a urchin. Or whatever. And hey. Maybe I'll learn a new skill that annoys you. Or I'll develop a weird thing. Life is long. But for the most part my goals, my aims, my desires. Are bare faced. Ass out. Booty hole winking.

I'm 100% single. What does that mean, to me? No kids. No baby mamas. No stalkers. No secret exes that still follow me. No "friends" that secretly ride the fuck out of my face. No friends that do that either. All the women in my life are married or so far beyond what I consider dateable its kind of bad.

Example 1. They want us all to give them 50 dollars to pay for their nails.

Funny enough, thats not even the worst example I can bring up for that one.

But I'm off track. I don't have kids. I don't want kids. If kids become a thing. I'd be fine adopting Little Elijah with half a knee at the orphanage. I won't even make fun of him, maybe. I'll give him big hugs and show up at schools to stomp out his bullies or whatever.

Anyway. Thats neither here nor there. It just. This place is weird. I never know how much to share. And I mean I woke up with a lot on my brain, if you can't tell. None of it about this. I was thinking about big booties. And my dream about being a power ranger. Like a physical dream. Not like a reoccurring wish in real life.

Please be over 21. older is fine. I said that and somehow you guys read " I only talk to older women" that was fun.

Some of your aunties and grandmas are SUPER HORNY go save them, somehow.

Over 21. No kids. Look. I'll interpret that for you since again, all types online. Love it. If your vagina. Your wet moist vagina has been came inside and then 9 months later your physical body or hey, maybe your friends body? family? if you have kids. thats a no.

divorcing is not divorced.

Also please be on the western hemisphere. I don't plan on being a passport bro. There's thousands of viable women In America. Lmao.

Hmm. Damn. " be over 21, no kids"

I promise my actual standards are far higher than that, but they also have the unfortunate side effect of being the invisible kind that people that lack awareness think they have in spades. OH But if you have maliciously kicked a puppy in the last year, maybe, uh, go fuck some farm animals and leave my page.