Anyone who understands that reference is my type of person! It’s that time of year again, the time when we get colder and lonelier then usual and desire to find that special connection with someone out there. My plan B/C unfortunately didn’t work out once my house was finished being built so I’m back to plan A to throw out a post and hope for that Christmas miracle connection to hit. I write super long, potentially unnecessary posts lol, so I hope you have some free time or just enjoy reading. If for whatever weird reason you want more info my profile is filled with it so feel free to poke around as this is my actual profile, it’s not blank/empty. Before we get started on some dealbreakers I will give some basic info. I just turned 40, white, 6.2 220, BS degree in IT, just finished building my home, love animals, ISFJ personality, live in central Cali, enjoy intimacy and games. Compared to previous posts I will also list some of the biggest questions I get in response to certain areas and my answers.

Let’s start off with probably the biggest issue with potential partners, relocation. I have spent the past 3 years building a house here in central California. It has cost me quite a bit of gold rupees, and thus I don’t intend to be moving anytime soon. You would need to be open to relocation if things work out. I understand that something like that can affect many aspects of a person’s life so we can talk about all the details, but you would need to be open to the idea. [for bonus points] One of the biggest questions in regards to this area that I usually get are what about my work? I am very flexible in that area. If you want to transition to being stay at home, go back to school, start a business, get another job in the same area, or find something else, I am open to it all. This is of course if you have to leave/quit your current one. There is no wrong answer to what you want to do by relocating over here.

Next up let’s talk about distance. I would prefer you to be in California. I can’t expect central Cali because almost no one from reddit I have ever talked to minus a couple people have been from central lol. It is simply easier to visit each other being able to drive in the same state. That being said if you happen to be in another state and feel like we have that miracle connection, and are willing to fly out here to meet up eventually feel free to send me a message anyway. I don’t get many questions in this area it’s somewhat straightforward.

Hobbies/passions is an area of a relationship I feel is very important. You want to find someone you love and who loves you for who each of you are right? Gaming like many posts on here… like really 80% the ones from men on here lol, is a hobby and passion of mine. I want my partner to be a gamer as well. I understand some people don’t think its important that partners share hobbies, but at the very least It’s important to me that they share this one. It doesn’t matter to me what you play, as long as you have that passion that is fine. I want to be able to have conversations about games, characters, looking forward to playing something together, and all kinds of other little dumb things. It’s just not the same if your partner doesn’t understand, and they won’t if they don’t game. One of the biggest questions I get about this area is will you ignore me to game. First off that mind boggles me lol. [please use] I understand in a relationship people need space and alone time sometimes, but if you are doing things alone all the time that’s… not a relationship. I don’t know why people would ignore their partners to game. The whole point of finding a serious relationship is to find someone to spend time with. If you want to ignore them and still have the benefits of something, just get a fwb not a serious relationship. So please do not worry about that aspect.

Intimacy is another area of a relationship that is extremely important. Many relationships fail because the intimacy levels between people are not on equal footing. It is going to cause one person or both to be unhappy leading to problems in the long run. Intimacy is important to me. Physical touch is my love language and I enjoy showing it. Cuddling especially on a cold night while we watch something or play a game together is probably my favorite way to spend an evening. [the word] We can talk more deeply in private, but I do feel its important to get some bare bones conversation regarding intimacy out of the way as if people are too far apart on issues it simply won’t work out. The questions I get regarding this area I won’t list here but I can mention that in private.

Do you want to hike across the Himalayas, explore the Egyptian deserts, or travel from country to country every year exploring the vast world? Then please do not message me lol. Traveling is a big thing for people nowadays. Many people have bucket lists or on apps I see a lot of what they want to do more this year is TRAVEL! I am happy that those people found something they love, but I don’t love traveling and have no desire to be a world traveler. Therefore, if you want to travel the world, we are not compatible. There are some places I wouldn’t mind going, Japan being my #1 here. That being said if you want to get out and visit country after country it would be a no go for me. I do however love little trips, which I will talk about later on. As for questions on this area they typically revolve around how much traveling is too much. If you want to explore a different country every, or heck even every 2 years lol, that is “too much”. There are many people who want to do that, find your travel buddy! It’s not me :p

Introvert vs extrovert or homebody vs outdoors person is a typical thing that people talk about. Do you want to go camping, fishing, mountain climbing and rafting down rivers????? That sounds like exactly the opposite of what I want to do lol. I am a homebody! My ultimate night would be grabbing/cooking some food then cuddling up on the couch while we binge watch something or play a game together. Hiking is ok but most outdoor things are a bleh to me. I would very much prefer a partner who more-so enjoys staying home then going out. If however you are someone who wants to go out all the time that I guess would depend on how much. I do love going to certain places and smaller outings though. [triforce] I enjoy the occasional concert, especially gaming ones like Zelda/Final fantasy, distant worlds was an amazing concert and I will 100% go again when it comes back to California somewhere. I love places like the zoo/aquarium, anything with animals, occasionally the museum and enjoyable gardens, and we can’t forget an amusement park every so often. If we can go somewhere and look at cute things and hold hands, that’s a good outing. Questions on this typically deal with what how often to stay home and go out and more specificity on what to do when we go out, we can talk about those things if its important.

Have you gotten bored yet? We are only at the halfway point, its cold out go grab something warm to drink and a blanket before you continue!

I am not specific about looking for certain things in a forever partner. Age for example I am very flexible on. Everyone matures at a different pace and learns things in life. On the low end mid 20s is fine, on the high end early 50’s is probably where I am at, even those are a little flexible by a bit, but it’s a range for anyone who wants to know. I have no issues with any ethnicity. As for appearance/ht/wt I am very flexible as well. As long as you are healthy that’s what matters in that regard, heck I got a dad bod myself, but I’m healthy. We can share pics to get that out of the way though. Someone’s compatibility is what’s going to last in the long run. [in your] I am happy, I enjoy my life, and I want someone who enjoys similar things to me as that way I know we will be happy together in the future. Like to game? Check Love intimacy? Check, don’t have the travel bug? Check Able to relocate? Check. I don’t get many if any questions about this stuff. The only thing I will mention is that some people are not willing to video chat and only send pics. Pics are fine at first, but anyone can send pics and chat you up without being willing to commit. A video chat goes a long way in confirming things, please eventually ( not right away ) be willing to video chat.

Vanilla is not just not some people’s favorite type of ice cream ( mine is cookie dough though ) it’s me in a nutshell. I don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs. I have no children and have never been married. There isn’t any drama in my life. I have a close family and a small group of close friends. I have had successful long-term relationships of 5 years that only ended due to real world issues such as my partner moving away for schooling or due to life/career choices. [response to me] I am financially stable ( although extremely poor after building this house lol  ) with a high credit score. I don’t use social media unless you count reddit occasionally and discord. I am emotional available, affectionate, healthy, and have all my life ducks in a row. Basically… for better or worse I am a very simple straightforward person. Not many questions on these things, everything is kind of self explanatory.

Some basic areas to discuss would be children/religion/politics for example. I do not want children. At the point in my life where I am at I want to be happy. Spending time with someone and enjoying our days together is what I want and will make me happy. Having children would… well throw a wrench into those plans lol. I am not religious, I don’t mind if you are and happy to support you as long as you don’t force it on me. Politics is a… tight issue right now. I am not political in general but I will say if you happen to be a trump supporter then yeah… don’t message me. I cannot pin down the thought process of those people, anyone who would go against their own well being is… simply crazy to me. You do you, but you won’t be doing me :p. Not many questions, everything is pretty self explanatory, although some people might go more in depth on religion or politics.

Nerdy through and through. Gaming, although my number 1 passion and hobby is not the only thing I am interested in of course. Lot’s of more nerdy subjects can get thrown into the ring here. I won’t go over massive details here but I will list some things. Anime ( and donghua ) is a close second to gaming. I enjoy card games, TTRPG, and board games as well. [lets see if] I am thinking about trying to set up some card/board game nights now that my house is done being built.  I enjoy Japanese and korean pop and rock music as well as VGM and Anison of course. I love to binge Chinese/Japanese/Korean drama/action/fantasy. I subscribe to VIKI, which is like an Asian version of Netflix lol. Lots of questions in this area since it deals with hobbies and passions, won’t list them here, but feel free to talk me up about anything nerdy that you love, I love talking to people and walking while I do it.

I have lots of stuff up, although most of it is either old relationship posts or video game stuff, but feel free to peruse my profile and read to your hearts content before messaging me. Unlike the majority of people who post this is my actual account. I’m getting old, and with age comes experience and you learn what you want. Be honest, upfront, and picky. I feel like too many people are not like this. You want a partner right? You want a partner that likes you for you and will be with you for the long run right? Just be honest, upfront, and picky. Don’t try to change someone or yourself. Love yourself for who you are and find someone to love you for you. If something matters to you, then speak it out, tell a potential partner that it matters and if they don’t have whatever it is, find someone who does. I feel like people don’t focus on these things enough. Don’t take things to heart,( this took time to learn to do ) everyone wants specific things ( or they should ) and if everyone moved on instead of fluffing around things would be better overall for everyone. ( this is just my opinion of course ) [anyone finds this] The point is… lets be adults and chat about what we want. Some things can be worked around, others simply cannot, but the most important thing is being vocal and talking about it. No questions here, its just my opinion on how the state of dating and relationships has regressed over the years instead of improved and how learning some simple things would help the situation.

Congrats, you made it to the end of probably one of the longest posts you have read on one of these subs, if not THE longest. I get a lot of questions about why I make these so long. I’m old… I know what I want and what is going to work for me. I understand getting to know someone should be fun and exciting, and it is! At the same time wasting time and energy talking to someone who is never going to work out is not fun. That is why I go through all these big ticket issues. It saves both me and her time. Most of the time when I post I get more compliments then serious inquires, which is flattering but kind of sad lol. If you are still reading and if you are interested then send me a message or a chat. Tell me about yourself, what you are looking for in a relationship, and be sure to include your favorite game of all time and what you are currently playing, and I will get back to you in time. Anything with a few sentences or a 1 liner I will assume is a bot/other intentions and will not reply. Let’s be adults and talk about things upfront and we can decide if we want to proceed further or not. Just be honest/upfront and yourself. I have plenty of pics that are ready to be exchanged after an initial chat. If you profile is empty but you provide a good response I don’t mind. I am not expecting an essay like I wrote, but if you really read all this and can’t even write a paragraph of information about yourself I don’t think you are my cup of tea. If I am not your type of person then I hope you find yours! Thanks for reading and have a Merry Christmas and happy new year. May 2025 be better for us all.