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TLDR: I'm looking for someone who will go get pancakes with me occasionally, anything more exceeds expectations.
Do you ever fantasize about living in a hole in the ground? Not a nasty, dirty one, nor a bare or sandy one with nothing to sit in, but maybe a comfortable one with a round door perhaps? I could list my interests (there are not many in truth) and, although I do think there's value there, I'd wager that underlying lifestyle and value similarities are a better indicator of compatibility.
My life is simple, many would say boring; I like it that way, but it does get lonely. I work full time. I usually spend whatever cognition is left over in low key activities - watching tv, reading, playing a video game - things like that. If the mood strikes I might work on a little project here and there, those are usually technology related in some fashion, occasionally crafty. My adventures are mild - going to that one coffee place or restaurant, a relaxing walk, or perusing a thrift or a book store. Larger adventures aren't off the table, but I don't pine for them.
I want to say that my wants and needs in a relationship are also simple, but I know that's not the case. I suspect everyone must feel that way about themselves. Down to brass tacks, I'm looking for mutual attraction. To both desire and be desired. I want to hear the latest work and family gossip and about that thing you're strangely interested in or that unpopular opinion you have. What's the inner narrative that runs throughout your day? I want to know about your successes, failures, and struggles no matter the magnitude. I want to support and be supported and be nudged in the right direction when I'm wrong. I want to spend time together, even if we're focused on our own interests, but have a common goal that we work towards.
That’s all to say, I’m looking for someone who I think is like me and in a similar place as me. Someone who might routinely feel on the outside looking in, who's content with a simple and largely domestic lifestyle. Someone who considers themselves more on the introverted side, and is kind, honest, curious, quiet, modest, humble, observant, reserved, and stable. You tend to avoid busy and loud spaces and unknown situations probably give you a bit of anxiety, so you strategize as much as possible before making your move. You tend to overthink and overanalyze by nature. When you like someone you want to know precisely how their mind works and with every probing question, observation, and discussion, you add a component to your schematic. Eventually, words aren't necessary but, for now, words are all that's available here. You’re not perfect, and that’s fine - I’m far from it.
I'm not particularly interested in more pen pals, so if you respond then there should be an intent at pursuing something real, eventually, in whatever form that may take. A more conventional, monogamous relationship is ideal for me but I realize these things can be complicated so I'm potentially open to different forms of romantic expression. I don't care what we talk about, everything we say will be novel and therefore interesting. I want to know everything anyways, from the most mundane choice to the deepest thought. Ideally, we will both be open to discussing anything.
My preference would be to exchange pictures early to establish mutual attraction as, unfortunately, this is important to me and I find that I'm painfully selective - Sorry, I don’t make the rules. That's always awkward, but let's both agree up front that's it's nothing personal. Here's one of me so that you can decide beforehand. Additionally, in the vein of dealbreakers:
- If you're not in a place where you can make an honest attempt at engaging in conversation, maybe reconsider reaching out. This is a waste of time for both of us.
- I'm 5'9", ISFJ personality type, physically average/lean.
- I have a bad habit of forming anxious attachments. I'm working on it and making progress, but in the meantime, if you know that you have avoidant tendencies then you should know it's going to be a rough go between us.
- Not really interested in politics.
- I’m not religious, but enjoy it as a subject.
- I’m not opposed to pets, but pet ownership feels absurd to me.
- I’ve transitioned from smoking cigarettes to vaping incessantly. I don't love that, but that's where I'm at presently, so maybe don't respond if you find that distasteful.
- Don't enjoy 420 or other drugs really, but a night out drinking can be fun.
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