Hellooo

I have a bit of an aura about me. I don't actually really know what it's like or if that is even true, although, I feel as though I don't always fit the situations I am in. Yeah we could say it's insecurity and just leave it there, but it's more like I'm the quiet guy... alone... next to you in the elevator. Maybe you have a sense about me fantasizing us living a life together, but I also don't want to say that about myself - or anything at all. I am very quiet.

I wouldn't want to make women uncomfortable. There is a kind of feeling I get though seeing someone dress in such and such a way. And then, I stop staring, or I didn't stare to begin with. I know some women want to feel sexy or do like a fashionista thing, but I... don't want to be a bother. Not everyone likes compliments. I feel like a 40 year old man, perving on an 18 year old woman, but I don't even know what the women I live near really even look like because not to be tmi, yet it's not the most comfortable experience having to like... say hi to a woman when your hair is obviously greased up from idk I just want to move on. I was going to say though, I don't know who or why this would land with somebody, but I thought someone would appreciate it.

I saw this cute asian woman a few days ago. She had an uncomfortably short skirt albeit, I am not going to lie I perved on her a bit like maybe stared 5 or 10 seconds. I didn't look at her rump though, or focus on any hip sways. She honestly had the most eh... she had knee pits that popped out. Not like she was a ripped athlete, but the curvature on the muscle of where her thigh and calf crossed paths was just something I could use a starting point to ramble for hours I suppose. Not that it matters, but I thought she was very pretty. I mention this because I wondered if someone would appreciate my artistic description of what the human body is capable of. But, I am only mildly autistic so that's probably not going to happen.

Would it bother you if I showed you my nsfw "collection?" I think what the human mind is capable of is very beautiful. Although, I suppose I find what most people see as mundane as disgusting and what most people see as disgusting as mundane - having been raised on the internet.

Do girlfriends ask about their boyfriends' day? I mean I had a girlfriend once. I know that answer to that. But there's something special about asking the question I think. I love to ask questions. I love to be asked questions too. Although, I would need to know whether you were friend or foe first before I'd really let you know about my day. I speak about foes like I'm traumatized with trust issues. Mmm at the risk of sounding edgy, I have a dark part that sees the light of day. I don't watch naruto. I have heard people say though that even sasuke types want a girlfriend that makes them happy. And it's not like I have an affinity for sasuke, I just suppose it has been difficult to talk about my feelings. But I'm not even sure about that. I think I question myself a lot - with all the good and bad that entails.

Do you feel like true love exists? I always feel like people who have an answer to that question aren't smart. It's something that reminds me though that, well, I honestly forgot. I have short-term memory kerfuffles sometimes.

I want to ask if you know something, but I'm not sure how to ask it. What I have been thinking about and fixated on though is I want the right girlfriend, and I want to do this right more than anything. What more is there to say? A lot, but we can do that in the chats. Speaking of which... 😐 (autistic smile).