Hey so after the events of a fortnight past where I was scheduled to meet a lovely brunette (so I thought) online only to be assaulted in ASDA supermarket by anti-incestophile vigilantes, I was a bit pissed off. It really felt like I hadn't done anything wrong except take her "we were separated at birth" comment figuratively (not a crime in my view!).

I have to now admit it could have been much worse. I mean, I was infatuated with this girl. If we had actually gone back to her place and, in the heat of the moment, if she had told me properly, "I'm the one dad didn't tell you about", or something of the like, could I have turned her down? Almost certainly, yes, but it would have been one of the hardest decisions of my life.

What frustrates me is I don't even know if she's real or just a member of the vigilante group. I was thinking about phoning them up and saying hey, I'm not looking to do anything weird, but could you put me back in touch with my sister? But I'm worried this would just rile them; they didn't seem like the most level-headed folk. But like, if she's actually real, she seems like she needs help?? Will she be superliking my older brother next (he's also single), if this is her method of getting in contact? Or am I special?? Women are so complex.

That's where you come in. I'm looking for someone who's open to a long-term relationship with me and is willing to wait the several weeks to month duration it might take for me to get over my probably fake sister, who made me feel very special. To be completely transparent, you must be emotionally prepared in the event she hopefully turns up. In the meantime, please respect that I will not be closing my dating profiles in case she contacts me there. Sorry, I know this is not the ideal situation, and I'm probably turning some people off. But everyone has flaws, I'm just being honest about mine.

💘 About you

• Single, monogamous.
• No weird emotional baggage or hang-ups.