Truly an inspiring and witty title, I know. Hopefully it gets the point across that I’m not interested in short term, and I don’t really care where you are. Closer is obviously better, but the more compatible we are the less I care about a temporary problem like distance.

I’m going to try to err on the side of brevity instead of writing some overly loquacious nonsense about my perfect partner, my dream relationship, and what a mind bogglingly awesome catch I am. – I don’t want to make myself sound obviously too good to be true, but I also don’t want to undersell myself too hard, and I don’t want either of us to feel like we’re settling. I want this to be our dream relationship, not just mine.

I’m 5’10, attractive as long as you like muscular dad bods and business casual, I’m pale, I have gray blue eyes, dark hair, and a deep voice. I lift regularly, I’m a good cook, I have a very high sex drive, and yes I realize those last two are subjective. I like video games, bad tv, good books, good restaurants, and the rest of the usual suspects. I can travel easily, although I don’t really do it for lack of anyone to enjoy doing it with.

I don’t want to put a giant kink list here, but I have real life experience with DDLG, age gaps, and a lot of other kinks. I’m not submissive in the slightest in or out of the bedroom, but I’m also not a control freak and I respond well to reason. I also have experience with TPE in relationships, but it’s not a mandatory kink.

Ideally, I don’t want to have to choose between great sex and a great relationship, so as contradictory as it may sound I’d love to find someone who can be my partner in addition to my arm candy and fleshlight.

If I sound interesting, send me a message with a little bit about yourself, and we’ll go from there.

“A little bit about yourself” includes your age, and a brief description of yourself and what you look like at minimum. It doesn’t have to be a wall of text, but give me a starting point.