Dating apps tend to make me anxious and depressed and are something I don't think I'm built for, and approaching girls face to face is still something I'm not quite ready for, although I'm starting to gain some confidence in that field after my recent ASD/ADD diagnosis. I'm in a much better place now emotionally/mentally, I can acknowledge my loneliness without falling into a pit of depression.

A romantic/intimate/deep/meaningful relationship is something I've been missing for a long time, the brief and few instances of physical and emotional closeness I've experienced tell me that this is something I need in my life. The most content and blissful I've ever felt in my life was when a girl laid her head on my shoulder and we just sat on a couch, quiet and still. I'm not interested in any form of a purely sexual relationship, rushing to get laid just for the sake of getting laid is a mistake I've already made. Cuddling is preferred, although a sexless relationship is also out of the question. Just no rushing into anything.

I'm also not interested in LDRs, the lack of touch and physical presence is painful.

No polyamory either.

I'm very passionate about music and gaming mostly, but also enjoy films, art, theology, philosophy and psychology. I play guitar, and would like to make something of my own at some point. I also like to sing, as long as I know no one can hear me. Music is almost like a possessive spirit to me, that I give control of my body to. Its the biggest source of emotion and inspiration to me. I mostly listen to heavy stuff. I own a few vinyl records.

As far as gaming goes, I play on PC pretty much exclusively. All sorts of games, from all eras. From weird niche indie stuff to mainstream AAA games. Leaning more toward indie currently. Genres I'm not too familiar with are RTS, puzzle, and sports/racing. My brain in incompatible with the first 2.

And films, I'm currently fascinated by Werner Herzog after watching his interviews, and plan to go through his filmography. I tend to lean toward dark themes and heavy atmosphere, so naturally I like a lot of horror films. Very much looking forward to Robert Eggers' Nosferatu adaptation, his films are some of my favorites.

I'm around 5'5 ft / 167 cm and 205 lb / 93 kg

Working on trying to lose weight, will not be surgically inserting metal rods into my legs to make myself taller.

Looks matter to the extent that I won't date someone I don't find attractive, nor do I expect anyone else to.

Further questions are welcomed and will be answered with honesty.

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9th repost