Hello there, fellow Reddit perusers! This will be a longer post, but I’m seeking a soulmate-level connection, and as such some level of detail is necessary. First thing to mention is that I developed a health condition in late 2022 which remains as-yet undiagnosed (more on this below), and this limits me in some areas, though I can keep active and can still travel, so a long distance relationship with the intention of eventually living in the same place is by no means out of the question. In any case, I think that starting with friendship is a good and sensible foundation; I’m ultimately hoping to find someone who I can call both my partner and best friend. I’m going to go into certain areas you wouldn’t usually find in a dating profile, and that’s because I’m not so much interested in being attractive as I am in being open about myself and not wasting your time in the event that there’s something about me that’s not compatible with the relationship you’re searching for or vice versa. It’s kind of an experiment for me in a way; usually you get to know things about a person over time, and getting to experience the good parts probably makes the bad parts easier to accept/worth it given how good the better parts are. But an advantage of internet dating is that you can theoretically put down all the major strengths and flaws of yourself, and if everyone did that it would probably make it a lot easier to find one’s most likely compatible matches, where it can otherwise feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. Because learned preconceptions form such a large aspect of the way we judge people we’re unfamiliar with, this profile might very well lead to no matches whatsoever. But hey, if it fails, at least I’ve tried, and I can then go back to the normal approach of providing far less in the initial profile. I sometimes just wish we could look at someone’s profile and immediately get a good idea if someone is likely to be compatible with our values, strengths and flaws. So that’s what I’m trying to do here for anyone else who might feel similarly.

So without further ado, let’s get into it!

Pictures of me

Also, I'm closer to 36 right now.

I’m very much an introverted type; my MBTI is INFJ-T, and although not a perfect match, I’d say that the qualities of this personality type describe me reasonably well. How talkative I am really depends on the situation, and also on the personalities and communication styles of the people I’m with. For example, if I’m working with others who have a sense of humour, I can be full of brilliant (yes, brilliant, despite what anyone else might say) quips and jokes, whereas if you find me sitting at a dinner table I often can’t think of anything to say, and can be so quiet that you’d be forgiven for coming over to my chair and checking for signs of life. After the initial getting to know each other stage, I find I run out of things to say quite easily, even though there’s probably a lot I could still ask if my brain hadn’t inexplicably turned to glue. On the other hand, I seem to do pretty well at listening and empathising, and I tend to find my match either with people who like or don’t mind silence, or with people who can naturally come up with conversation topics, even if it’s just talking about their day, without it feeling like a burden for them to do so. I don’t like feeling like I’m making someone else do all the work, so I still do my best to contribute to coming up with conversation topics… it’s just not exactly my strong suit, and things can quickly fall apart if I find myself being the only one trying to keep a conversation going. As may be evident from the wall of text you are currently perusing, this is somewhat less of an issue with text communication. I’ve heard it’s possibly an introvert thing. Regardless of whether I’m with an extrovert or introvert, it’s important to me to have a relationship where we can be comfortable in each other’s silence, as I tend to find talking draining after a while. The idea of doing something like reading books separately but with our legs touching, lying together and looking up at the stars, or just relaxing in each other’s arms, sounds incredible to me.

I’m a non-smoker, and due to an asthmatic history as well as ongoing throat problems, and the fact that I hate the smell, I am completely against smoking. I have an appreciation for clean air so I’m not all that fond of incense either. I’ve also never used or been interested in drugs and am a non-drinker, due to having no interest in substances that interfere with normal cognitive function. The only time I consume alcohol is if it’s used in food. I have Indian heritage, however I was born and raised in New Zealand, as were both of my parents, and grew up in a multicultural environment, so I’ve only ever really felt like a New Zealander (or a Kiwi, because for some reason us NZers have taken a fancy to naming ourselves after flightless birds), and aside from some of the foods (some of which are really good and some of which are really not) nothing in my life has really been Indian. I only speak English and am agnostic. I also tend to find myself predominantly physically attracted to Caucasian women (though this is not a hard and fast rule), something which I’ve found interesting since I would’ve expected my physical attraction preferences to align with my ancestral race, but that’s not how things have turned out. What else… I’m personally straight and am seeking cis women in terms of a romantic partner, but believe that everyone on the planet should be free to live their lives as they choose provided it doesn’t harm anyone else, and should be entitled to equal rights and respect, so I’m pro LBGTQI and would be completely incompatible with anyone who discriminates against or tries to limit the rights of these or any other demographics. I’m also prochoice for so, so many reasons. I’m around 177cm tall and my local health website rates my BMI as obese, which is actually one of the nicest compliments I’ve ever received given that I work out fairly frequently. I gained fat mass as a child as a complication of asthma drugs, so it’s been nice to have been able to turn that around. I have a deviated nasal septum which means I often have a blocked (or runny) nose, which also means that I often breath through my mouth, and often chew with my mouth open. I could be persuaded to change the latter habit as long as you are happy to deal with the suffocated corpse at the other end of the dinner table. Sometimes I can breathe through my nose okay, but it pretty much depends on the day. I’ve been told I snore but I don’t know the frequency or extent of this, however I suspect it’s another consequence of the deviated nasal septum and I am interested in getting this corrected one day once finances allow, as I have no desire to be anyone’s source of insomnia, having had plenty of experience with sleep disturbance myself.

In terms of my interests, I like walking in and exploring nature, and walking/running up hills because I’m weird – in my defence I only like this until the burn and gasping breath starts to set in. Also these days I can only do it to a limited extent because otherwise I start to feel sick in my head and my lower back starts to get angry. I also like casual sports such as hitting a ball around on a tennis court or playing darts, table tennis or other activities. Again my head condition limits some things but not others; for example I struggle with table tennis but can actually hit a ball around on a tennis court okay as long as I’m not doing too much swivelling or sudden turning. And even if it gets bad I can just lie down for a while and things return to normal – my new version of normal, at least. I enjoy gaming but haven’t really played many different games; the one I mostly play is Star Wars Battlefront 2 (and more recently I’ve played a bit of Fortnite as well) but I enjoy shooters and fast paced games such as racing games in general, and have been able to find some level of enjoyment in most genres I’ve tried. I’m also keen to try playing chess and other board games over a video link, and exploring other online options such as puzzles and escape room type games, so I’d really love to find someone who was interested in trying these or similar things too. I loved Star Wars until Disney took over; there’s still been some good material in some of the TV shows and Rogue One but overall it just doesn’t really feel like Star Wars anymore. My order of favourite episodes (best to worst) is probably 3, 5, 1, 4, 2, 6. Apart from this I love the Dark Knight trilogy, and there are various other movies/series I enjoy too. On the other hand, documentaries and non-fiction are generally not my thing, though I have found some "based on a true story" films really good. My favourite book series is Harry Potter, and I much preferred the books to the films. In terms of music, my go to genre is probably rock (my favourite band is The Living End), and I like other genres too, but hip hop and R&B are not my thing. Country is a genre I prefer in small doses too. I’m an omnivore, and like some form of meat with each meal so would prefer a fellow omnivore or someone who won’t be adversely affected by my preferences. I don’t think I could survive in a relationship without humour. I love laughter, sarcasm, [playful] competitiveness, banter and teasing – though I don’t have a particularly quick wit so it could very much end up being a case of careful what I wish for in that respect! I really want to find someone who shares some of the above hobbies/interests, as I think having some similar interests helps to keep a relationship fun and I want the type of relationship where there are things we can do together that we both really love doing.

The next section is for basic lifestyle compatibility, something which I think is massively overlooked and undervalued when it comes to seeking someone to potentially spend the rest of our lives with. I currently live alone and do house cleaning once every two weeks (full house dusting, vacuuming and bathroom clean). I used to do it once per week but due to a few factors I had to extend this out, and eventually discovered that fortnightly seems to be sufficient for my needs, though I wouldn’t want to leave it longer than that. I don’t mind mess (within reason) and am nowhere near perfectly tidy myself, but I don’t like my living environment to be dirty, dusty or unhygienic. I have something of a perfectionist streak and a pet hate of mine that I developed during my flatting days is having smears of food left on washed dishes or dishwashing liquid not rinsed off (though dishwashers have probably become so common now that this is no longer a major issue). I’ve noticed that the way I was taught to wash dishes is a bit different to the common way, which is probably why I’d never struck this before. I brush my teeth for an extended period once per day and have never had any cavities or other major dental issues (apart from tooth misalignments when I was young, and it took years for the dreams about forgetting to put my plate in to stop – if you know, you know). I wouldn’t mind changing to twice per day brushing if that’s what my partner wanted, as I think it’s nice to be considerate of the person I might be kissing, but currently once per day meets my needs.

On to my health issues, which could in fact be their own separate novel, so I’ll keep this as short as I can. I have a persistent itchy throat that, at it’s worst, gives me intermittent coughing fits that would put General Grievous to shame (again, if you know, you know). The itch persists 24/7, and these days has gotten so bad that if I sleep in any position other than on my side/front with my head facing to my left, I risk erupting into coughing fits relatively soon after lying down. These can get very hard to alleviate at times. I’ve tried some alterations to diet etc which seem to have reduced these coughing fits substantially, but it’s a work in progress and some itchiness remains to varying extents. One of these coughing fits triggered the as-yet undiagnosed issue with my head which has put me off work for the past nearly two years. I had previously been working a reasonably well paid career and had some financial plans in place in case of the unexpected, so I’m lucky enough to not be totally financially screwed, though I’m certainly not rich. The head condition (which appears to be related to cerebrospinal fluid flow based on the most recent scan report) has involved constant head pressure and headaches at the back of my head, dazedness and fatigue, and intermittent light headedness and non-spinning vertigo/disequilibrium. The symptoms are irregular in severity and sometimes I can function okay with them while at other times I can’t really do much except lie down and wait for the intensity to reduce a bit. I can still do activities that don’t involve too frequent movements of the head, and still force myself to keep exercising, as I don’t want to let the rest of my body go just because my head is unhappy. Aside from this, I also have a number of other health conditions, including an IBS-like one which can have some embarrassing symptoms, chronic pain and some other stuff. I won’t go further into it here but I’d want to make any potential partner aware of it all before we entered a romantic relationship, again because I wouldn’t want to waste anyone’s time or enter a relationship under false pretences.

I’ve never been in a romantic relationship, and haven’t really dated before either (apart from a few online interactions). I’ve heard that this constitutes a red flag to many people, which I personally struggle with the logic of, because there are so many reasons someone could find themselves in this position, and all of the arguments I’ve so far heard about this being a red flag are arguments I could equally apply to people who’ve been in past relationships. But I think it would be unfair to start making assumptions about people based on whether they’d been in a past relationship before that hadn’t worked out, because like someone who hasn’t been in one, there are any number of reasons why the relationship could’ve failed. And honestly, I don’t think I’d be compatible with someone who judged others based on their circumstances without at least taking the time to learn about the reasons behind those circumstances. I’m hoping that my first relationship is my last (in a good way), and that I find someone who just needs one right person and is willing to endure the easy and the rough times to make it work, because let’s face it, no healthy human relationship is ever going to be fully without debate or conflict, by the mere fact that none of us are the same. I’ve known people who’ve married and stayed in love across all the decades that their lives together have spanned, so I firmly believe that a relationship can be long lasting and remain passionate if two people possess the right level of compatibility and are willing to really work on it. Also, a lack of romantic relationships doesn’t mean a lack of other interpersonal relationships, and I think that everyone’s life experiences, regardless of what they are, are going to confer some level of unique strengths and learnings.

As to my own reasons for being single all this time, there are a few. One was that since I grew up with health problems, I had low self confidence that I’d ever be good enough to be in a relationship; I didn’t want to drag someone else’s life down due to being less than perfect myself, though of course I was ignoring the fact that other people aren’t perfect either. And from what I’ve seen of the way a lot of women my age have been treated in their relationships, ways in which I couldn’t imagine treating another human being regardless of whether we were in a relationship or not, I do start to wonder if maybe I was being a bit hard on myself. Another reason was that I went to an all boy’s high school, so I never had exposure to the opposite gender in my teens, and through university there was never anyone in my classes who was single and who I felt sufficiently attracted to and cognitively compatible with to the level where I would want to date them. I have friends of different genders and sexual orientations; in my eyes people are individuals first before their gender, and since I think cheating is one of the worst things you could ever do to someone, I don’t have issues having friends who are women because I don’t have trouble keeping boundaries. I also don’t care what gender my partner’s friends are; I want to be able to trust my partner though, so I need someone who is also disgusted by the notion of cheating and has a strong internally driven sense of loyalty. It’s natural to feel romantic feelings when we feel them, but the important thing is being able to internally manage them. The thought I keep in my mind at such times is simple: How would I feel if I loved someone with my whole heart and soul, and then they cheated on me?

I also wasn’t into bars or clubbing, and I didn’t want to go to bars to meet girls because I didn’t want to meet a girl while she was inebriated, and I didn’t want the first thing I ever bought a girl to be an intoxicant (unless it was chocolate, which is not an intoxicant but is in fact the lifeblood of the universe). I’ve always felt uncomfortable about approaching girls in other public settings, even though I’ve forced myself to a few times, because I’m always concerned that I’m being a nuisance by interrupting them while they’re going about their day, and I don’t like the idea of “chatting up” someone if I don’t even know whether or not they might already be someone’s partner, so I find that approaching girls IRL can be a challenging conversation. From the age of 24 to present I intentionally kept myself single due to a situation which was occurring in my life that began innocuously but later became one of extreme psychological abuse. When I tried to open up about what was going on a few years into it, I was disbelieved and left without support. I won’t go into the details of what happened here because it’s a very long, and very painful story (the shortest I’ve been able to summarise it to is around 40 pages and that’s by leaving a lot out). But it is something I’ll eventually want to confide in any potential partner if we plan to enter into a relationship, both due to the isolation of carrying it alone and due to the parts that are still actively harmful to me. I’m not mentioning it because I want help with it or want any potential partner to be involved in any way, which are misconceptions that I’ve previously been met with. I also don’t feel great that telling someone about my abuse involves them having to take the time and effort to read an extended document, so I would probably only share it if I knew the relationship was feeling mutual and I could compensate that effort by being supportive for anything my partner wanted to share (I’ve been told I’m a good listener to other people’s trauma). But to give the briefest of indications as to what my situation was about, it involved extensive psychological abuse, mainly in the forms of gaslighting, emotional blackmail and tormenting me with my own sanity. I wouldn’t say I’m exactly the easiest guy to abuse from a physical standpoint, but the abuse was almost exclusively psychological, and my abusers had a power position in the situation which allowed them to keep doing all that they were to me without me being able to do anything about it and without them having to face accountability to me or anyone else, or to even look at what their actions were doing to me. It’s really sad because the whole reason I became involved in the situation in the first place was caring about and trying to do right by people’s feelings in a scenario where I didn’t have to but I felt a moral obligation to. The situation didn’t start out as obviously abusive, and the reason my abusers gained part of their power position was because I gave it to them, mistakenly believing they would be as well intentioned as I was, and would use what I gave them to swiftly bring the situation to an end.

Despite the hellish road that following my morals has led me down, I don’t want to change who I am; I want to find someone for whom my natural traits are actually a strength, rather than something to be taken advantage of. I’m still in the process of fighting what happened, but I’ve done just about all I can do; the rest will be largely out of my hands, and now I have the time available to dedicate to special someone in my life. I’ve already lost over a decade to my abusers, and I don’t want to continue standing still. I never asked for or intended what my abusers did to me, and I’m sick of paying the price for their horrific choice of conduct.

I think there are flip sides to most things in life, and in some respects this might actually be the best time for me to come across a truly kind person and know I’m doing so. When someone goes through abuse or trauma and isn’t believed, I’ve noticed that a lot of people will be quick to extend the victim sympathy and disgust that they went through the trauma and disbelief that they did, after the trauma has already been ‘officially’ proven. But prior to that stage, tell people a story that’s unique or unlikely in the absence of firm evidence, and I’ve discovered that many people will be quick to invalidate, and to talk down to the victim as if they somehow know better than the victim about the situation despite not having taken the time to develop a proper grasp of it or having been in the victim’s shoes during what the victim has been through. There seems to be a lot of what I would term “faux kindness” in the world, where people are kind if it’s convenient to be kind, but if a trauma or experience doesn’t fit the norm, people are quick to invalidate and ostracise others either for the sake of being able to talk down to someone, or because it’s a quicker and easier route than taking the time to really absorb and understand the victim’s story and try to put themselves in the victim’s shoes. This has applied to my abusive situation, but I’ve also seen somewhat similar experiences with people who try to report domestic abuse, people who’ve encountered UFOs, and more. I don’t know why it’s so hard to understand that if a person has been struggling or has had an isolating experience already, isolating and invalidating them further is the last thing anyone should be doing. I want to find someone who’s different than that; not someone who necessarily automatically believes a person’s story, but someone who doesn’t automatically disbelieve the victim either, who understands the incredible harm of disbelief and who remains conscious of the fact that if there’s not enough evidence to prove something, there’s probably not enough evidence to disprove it either, and it’s far less harmful to just believe the victim until you find firm reason not to. It’s not like the perpetrators of these kinds of activities are handing out evidence or trying to make it easy for others to see the reality of what they did. I think one of the most important aspects of intelligence is being smart enough to know that you don’t know everything, and from what I have experienced this is something that a lot of people, regardless of their level of academic intelligence, struggle to remain cognizant of. Logic and reasoning are only as good as the information they’re based on, and with people who’ve disbelieved my story, it’s always been a case that they haven’t properly learned about the situation or have wanted it to be a specific thing that fits within the bounds of what they’re already familiar with. Because the abusive situation I faced is so expansive, it’s hard to mention little bits of it without it just sounding confusing, but I want to make sure I don’t connect with anyone who would be capable of doing what my abusers did. So if you can’t see the harm of holding a position of unequal power or knowledge over someone, and using that position to manipulate the other person into doing things that harm them so that you can benefit yourself or avoid association with a situation where you were the one to partially or fully instigate it in the first place, then please stay away from me.

Despite not having been in a romantic relationship before I’m not interested in being in a relationship just for the sake of it or to tick off a box of something I haven’t done. I’d rather remain selective, and wait for the right person to come along, and do my best to treat that person’s heart with the care and respect that they deserve. I don’t need someone perfect, just someone compatible with my values, as well as with my flaws. The thing I find myself longing for the most from a relationship is just holding and being held in the arms of someone who knows me completely, who I feel safe and secure with and vice versa, and who I love with every bit my heart. It sounds like such a simple thing, but it’s one of the most emotionally powerful desires I could think of; just being there, feeling and experiencing it all in the moment. I don’t think it’s something I’ll ever take for granted, for the mere fact that I’ve spent so much of my life without it. As you can probably start to tell from this profile, I am quite an open person in general, and that is a trait that I need in a potential partner, otherwise it won’t feel like an equal interaction. I don’t expect you to be completely open about all aspects of yourself from the outset, but I would hope that you can eventually share everything once you feel comfortable and safe doing so, even if that’s several years into the relationship. I really want my relationship with someone to be a mutually safe emotional space where we can share the good times but also our past challenges and mistakes, and feel truly and deeply there for one another and understood by each other. It’s a little hard to describe the exact level of closeness I’m talking about; I don’t want or need to know someone’s every thought, and I think some level of autonomy and independence is a healthy thing. I guess… if you took the strength of bond that might exist between close siblings and added romantic love into the mix, that’s the strength of connection I’m ultimately seeking.

The final thing to mention is my preferences and dealbreakers. The basic dealbreakers first: No smokers, drug users or parents; and no one who’s been previously wedded (simply because I want to go through that experience for the first time with someone). With regards to religion… I’m not sure. A condition of mine for dating a religious person would be that you place love for your partner higher than love for your deity, which probably largely rules religious individuals out. My reason for this is that the person I’m in love with will be the single most important person/being in my life (this wouldn’t change even if I were presented with incontrovertible proof that God was real), and if my partner doesn’t feel the same way about me then it wouldn’t feel like an equal relationship. I’m also strictly seeking someone monogamously minded, and someone who’s always carried that mindset.

Generalised high level anxiety is also an incompatibility for me; note this does not include anxiety related to specific settings/events such as anxiety secondary to trauma or social anxiety. But I’m quite an unstressed person in general (pretty much the only exclusion to that is my abusive situation), and would struggle living with someone who was frequently stressed out, just as they’d probably struggle with me not getting stressed out about much. I’d also prefer someone who works out, or someone who wants to get into it; I’ve pushed myself through a lot of pain all my life to keep myself fit, and it’d be good to be with someone who is familiar with or willing to push themselves to do things they don’t want to do (and to have someone to moan with about how much it sucks that we can’t just permanently keep whatever gains we make without maintenance, because I actually hate working out!!). This of course doesn’t apply to people who’s health has physically prevented them from being able to work out. Like openness/exclusivity of physical intimacy, it’s more about compatibility of mindset than anything else.

Uhhm… I don’t like dogs. I know, I’m sorry! I’m sure that if anyone had retained interest in me up until this point you’re probably packing up right now. I just don’t. I like cats, though I flatted in a house with one once and started getting asthmatic problems so I think I may have some degree of allergy, and no pets, or fish or something, would probably be an ideal setting for me. I’m also not personally a fan of tattoos and piercings. It’s none of my business whether people choose to get them or not and no judgement either way, I just mention it because I have noticed that they can be a turnoff for me from a physical attraction standpoint. Whether that turnoff would be overcome by being attracted to someone for their other qualities, I honestly don’t know. It’s not by itself a dealbreaker in any case. I also don’t want kids; I actually love kids and for a long time my dream was having children of my own, but for multiple reasons I’ve come to the conclusion that bringing new life into this world might not be the best thing to be doing. Feel free to discuss this with me if you feel differently, but I can’t see my position changing. I would’ve been interested in maybe adopting kids instead, but given my current state of health, I don’t feel I would be able to manage it.

It’s important to me that we have similar conflict resolution styles. My approach is that I want to hear and do my best to understand the other person’s perspective, be free to voice my own perspective, and then find an acceptable middle ground to compromise on in the event that neither of us feels that our own behaviour or desires warrant changing. I then try my best to take learnings from what’s happened and use those to better myself and reduce the chance of repeat conflict occurring moving forward. This approach requires both parties to be open with each other, and it requires voicing things that the other person may not want to hear, but in a tactful way that’s aimed at trying to constructively navigate the conflict with the other person. We’re all human, and our conflict resolution skills aren’t perfect; sometimes emotion wins out and things just go bad. But it’s about being able to come back from that, and applying introspection and empathy to open ourselves to other’s viewpoints, and using that to bridge the gap and [hopefully] come out of the argument with a bond as strong or stronger than what we went into the disagreement with.

Exclusivity is also important to me. I don’t find matrimony particularly important as a sign of commitment (though I still see value in the excitement of the occasion), because I feel a truly compatible couple should internally feel committed long before it becomes publicly official. I want a relationship that’s exclusive from the outset. If the relationship only lasts one or two dates, the exclusivity still lasts from when the date has been mutually agreed upon until one or both parties decide they’re not interested and inform the other party as such. This is simply about consideration, and not wasting each other’s time or feelings. It doesn’t take much to send someone a quick message before moving on to someone else if the first or second date doesn’t work out. This seems to be a highly contentious topic, and the main contention I’ve seen is fear of missing out on your right person while you’re being exclusive to someone else. But that’s life, sometimes you do miss out, and my position is that I’d rather make sure I’m respecting someone’s time, effort and feelings than engaging multiple people at once for the “chance” that my perfect match may be among them (as long as that respect is being reciprocated by the person I’m talking to). Internet dating does of course make exclusivity a bit more challenging, by the mere fact that any given person might be communicating with multiple others at the same time, and if we’re approaching someone we have no right to expect immediate exclusivity since we may not even be the first person approaching them. But exclusivity can still work, it just requires defining what a date is, because dating is not the same thing as talking. To my mind, a date would be a video call or similarly spent time together, but where, whatever the activity, we have both agreed to classify it as a date. This doesn’t (in my opinion) mean we have to immediately cut all contact with others we were already talking with; it just means that we’re both clear that we will reserve any romantic aspects of conversation exclusively for one another, and we don’t continue seeking new romantic prospects until/if we’ve decided that we don’t want to continue dating. I think communication is the most important thing here.

With regards to the topic of consideration, I don’t think ghosting is ever reasonable unless an interaction degrades to the point of verbal abusiveness. I don’t mind missing out on other potential opportunities due to being exclusive with someone, but if that person ends up ghosting then it’s really frustrating, because I’ve missed out on other opportunities unnecessarily, and sadly I have experienced this before. For my part, I won’t ghost you, and if I haven’t replied for a few days then it’s either due to a technical glitch or because something has happened which has physically stopped me from being able to reply.

I haven’t focussed much on the positive aspects that I have to bring to a relationship here, but I don’t want to completely kill the mystery of getting to know someone new, so if we match you’ll be able to find those bits out for yourself : ).

Thank you for taking the time to read this; I acknowledge that parts of it may sound somewhat mechanical or sleep-inducing, but I swear I’m not usually this serious… I just think that searching for the love of my life is a serious endeavour. I would appreciate if you could send a photo with your initial message, since you can already see what I look like so I think it’s fair that this goes both ways. If you’re kind of on the fence about whether to message me, feel free to do so anyway; that’s what talking is for. The detail in this post was intended to give an informative picture of me, but you don’t have to fit all these traits perfectly for us to be compatible. In a relationship I want both of us to be able to be our free and natural selves, and to never feel like we need to change in any major way or try to be someone we’re not in order to please our partner. So if you decide to message me, just be you, because that’s who I want to get to know : ). Regardless of whether I’m your type or not, I wish you the very best of luck in finding your ideal match.