PLEASEEE be over your ex before messaging me.

PLEASE be 28 or older. Do not send pointless messages saying "Good luck" or "I wish I were single". Do not message me if you're married. I am not poly. I am not looking for friends with benefits.

Facts about moi:

* I work with smol humans for a living.

* You don't have to WANT kids of your own. But, if you don't like kids...you're not for me.

* One of my favorite past-time activities is trying to put together legos high. 

* Listening to music high is also an experience (I do Delta since that’s what’s legal. If you’re anti-weed, then we aren’t a match. I don’t do it allll the time. I’m too broke for that life).

* Seriously, doesn't music sound different when you're high?

* Green Day was one of my favorite bands. I’ve been listening to them since I was 10!

* The obsession was real. My ten-year-old self had a binder about the members with all the facts and pictures of Billie (Yes, I was a weird child). I don´t listen to them much anymore. That was practice for my obsession with Panic! at the Disco. I only like one album, though.

* Now my obsession is more towards bands like AVOID, Dayseeker, The Used, etc. I'll listen to the same songs over and over until I can't stand it. I even have a Playlist for that. I recently found a band called Dark Devine, and I dig them.

* I love going to concerts. So, it'd be cool if you liked them too.

* I love love love traveling.

* Please don’t be a giant grouch on vacations. Coworkers complain about their spouse being a shitbird on trips. No thanks.

* I also like staying in, of course! But I’m not a homebody. I struggled during the COVID shutdown. Being cooped up SUCKED. I do not want to beg you to get out of the house. Again, I am NOT a homebody. If you are, we are not a match.

* I have a spicy brain.

* I’m super duper ADHD. Fun times! I’m also like an anxious puppy. Woop woop.

* The most organized thing in my life is this list

* The Office and Parks and Rec are two of my favorite shows. I also like Bob’s Burgers and Avatar The Last Airbender. 

* I don't watch a whole lot of TV, honestly...my ADHD brain enjoys the short videos on Tiktok.

* I talk to myself out loud in public.

* I promise I'm only a little crazy...depends on who you ask.

* I like things like tarot (NO I cannot do a card reading for you. I don't know how, I just think it's cool!My friend does readings for me) and other spiritual stuff. If you're into that too, cool!

* I like men with facial hair. I also like men who are more alt-y (think piercings and tattoos...singer of Dark Divine)....but that isn't a requirement! It's just bonus points.

Why you should date me:

* We can listen to emo bands together whenever you want

* Emo music can mean many things and I’m OK with that.

* You won’t get food poisoning from my cooking

* I can make more than Hamburger Helper and frozen pizzas. Though, the ranch burger hamburger helper is my fave.

* The velveeta skillets are better, though.

* I’m suuuper short. So, if you’re insecure about your height, I gotchu. I’ll make you feel tall..or taller! 

* I don’t care about height and it makes me sad that people feel insecure about something they can’t change.

* I’m a great small spoon…but I guess if you REALLY insist, I can be a jetpack. Buuuuutttt it isn't my first choice...but please don't cuddle all night. I want my space and I need to sprawl out and become a blanket burrito...with one leg out because otherwise, I'll get too hot! We just can't have that.