What exactly makes someone feel human? I'm sure part of that is being filled with ideas and thoughts, imagination and creativity, and everything else about your mind. But that's not a complete sense of being human! You need to use perception, you need to feel things in the world. Touching the snow, tasting ice cream, hugging a friend. That's a very basic level though. To what extent can we experience the world around us? With our hands and eyes? What can I learn about myself? Could I feel more in tune with everything else about me that makes me feel human? I think about these things a lot.

In a way, I feel detached from my humanity at times. As if I'm some kind of AI. Some of it is because I'm in a wheelchair, so I'm not as into and with my body as I would like to be. There are so many thoughts and imaginative dreams in my mind, alongside a huge wealth of knowledge from books and school. But the problem is, somewhat throughout my life has been lost inside my brain that I haven't really explored the tangible and perceivable world. I'm one of those people with really structured thinking and an analytical style, so I'm used to being in my own world. Nowadays though, I want to understand and explore the more sensual sides of me. I don't want to feel as if you could upload my mind to a computer and I would be exactly the same person. Who am I, in the flesh?

Most of all, I want to explore touch. It might be the most human sense of all, especially when you touch someone else. You share in the same experience with another person, in a very grounded and mindful way. In a purposeful way to understand myself and others as well. I want to get away from and grow out of any fears and anxieties that I might have around people. I want to do something new in my life. If I can explore all these thoughts with someone, I would love that. Trying things like hugging each other, holding each other while watching a movie, nuzzling our cheeks together, holding hands, gentle massage. I'm open to all kinds of forms of touch, and in negotiating the boundaries of what we want to explore.

But for now, I'd love to hear your thoughts. You up for some cuddling this cold winter? Let's keep each other warm! What do you want to understand better about touch? What would you like to explore? I'm hoping we can connect.

I'm 34, M, in North NJ. I'm really into science fiction and philosophy, as well as music. Actually, a scene from Blade Runner 2049 inspired these thoughts, check out the clip here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uU0uSAi26-I

I'd love to hear if that scene inspires any thoughts for you!