Ok firstly, my name is not a reference to necrophilia. It’s a band from the 70s.

What can anyone say when attempting to describe themselves in a way which attracts the right person. I have no clue. So I tend to just be rather honest in my self description. I’m not trying to attract the masses. I’m trying to attract the people who are kind of ok with who I am.

I’m an odd guy. Comfortable with who I am and confident. But odd. I don’t have the fortune of having a ton of common interests with most people. That’s become more pronounced with age. I don’t golf. I don’t watch American sports. Mainly because it’s alien to me to take something so seriously. I don’t have or want kids. Not into cars.

I’m an introvert (exacerbated by the wonderful lock down in which I was free to be as big a homebody as I wanted ). There’s a weird situational duality with my introversion. I’m in sales, so I have to be “on” at work. If you asked me to speak to a room full of people about a subject I have knowledge about, I’m fine with it. However a social Setting with many people I don’t know? I get quiet and uncomfortable. Mainly because I don’t assume people necessarily want to be bothered (because it’s in my nature to not necessarily want to be bothered). And also because I know the same old ice breakers are coming. To which I have no good answers (about the local sports team or cars or babies or investments etc). I wish I were interested in these things.

I have solid friends whom I love. But most of them have moved away or started families. I get invited to kids birthday parties, but gone are the days of just hanging out. And as you get older, you start taking care of more things so it’s hard to squeeze in social time when you know you have to get that load of laundry done because you’re not off again for a week etc etc etc.

Maybe my introversion in the last few years is driven by how divisive most subjects are nowadays. Everything is “us against THEM” or “if you’re not with me you’re against me”. I feel like that’s exactly what we’re driven towards and it’s sad to see how easily those strings are pulled by various sources. I believe there’s always a common ground and you should learn to play nice with your neighbors.

Also, I came to realize (at some point) that I was raised with insufferably arrogant male role models in my life. I acted similarly to them when I was younger (out of insecurity, just as they did) and upon having this realization, it makes it harder to be loud or outspoken. I no longer think my opinions are any more valid than anyone else’s. The world is absolutely chocked full of interesting and beautiful people and you hardly notice them because there are so many loud people.

Ok so you got through all of the above rambling. Maybe I should say who I am.

I’m 42. Average height (5’10.5”). A little above average weight. Latino (not raised speaking Spanish or being very in touch with my roots). Child free (doesn’t want kids but doesn’t hate children). I’m liberal and non religious.

I get excited over random things. New cooking utensils (I just got a carbon steel pan not long ago and love it). I bought a chefs press. Must brown all the things!

I’m a pretty decent cook. If I’m trying something new I’ll probably make it for a week straight just to “get it right”. Or at least until I’m happy with it.

I love salads. There’s literally always room for salad. The way most people feel about desert is how I feel about salads. All kinds of salads.

I think iceberg lettuce is highly underrated.

I probably make more Asian dishes than anything else since Asian food is my great love.

I’m allergic to peanuts and shellfish (and cats) so my great loves are also forbidden loves.

I feel that sharing food is a magical way to connect to people.

I have owned more guitars than I can remember. A wise man once told me “you can’t take them with you” and I listened. My collection is much smaller now.

Music is the one constant thing in my life day to day. I would say it’s my life but I’ve known people who actually made it their life. Modern music is not quite as appealing to me. It seems “vibey” and doesn’t really have a hook or dynamism. I love James brown, Jimi Hendrix, old blues. 60s funk and soul. Otis Redding. Boom bappy hip hop. Wu tang. Portishead. Anything with oomph. 70s punk. 80s new wave and synth. The list goes on. Sometimes I realize I only get to listen to music in my car and spend my time listening to the same playlists because otherwise I’d be in my car for 40 minutes before going anywhere.

I’m not great at photography but like taking photo walks in random places. Gives me something to focus on rather than just walking. I’m slowly learning what light looks good when translated to a still photo.

I don’t have any prerequisites for the race or ethnicity of the people I date. I believe there are beautiful people everywhere. I don’t have much of a racial or ethnic identity.

I am a rather secure and confident person. And I am seeking the same thing from another person. I don’t want to be taken care of or doted on. I want a partner. Someone who will laugh at the inappropriate, fucked up and vulgar jokes I whisper to them in public. I don’t want to be with just anyone. I want to meet the right person.

If you’re reading this and think it vaguely sounds like a person you might want to talk to, send a chat or message. I would prefer people somewhat geographically close to me (unless you just happen to travel to San Diego often).

Also, as you can see above I’m rather long winded. I prefer people who tend to give long responses. If I get a “hey” it’s just getting ignored. Especially with the amount of bots etc that respond to personals posts.