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hey reddit--
I don't really know what I'm seeking, guess we'll see what the universe offers up with this roll of the dice. I love reading, midwest emo/pop punk albums, overlanding and aviation. I live a small life, and spend most of my time behind the wheel of my old Toyota, exploring backroads and mountain towns. Bigger cities make me anxious the more older I get, but I am a restless body.
I spend a lot of time trying not to think about the person I was before and how 30 feels like the first knee down on the guillotine block. When waking up in the morning sometimes feel like a punch in the gut.
I don't know, maybe I am a masochist. I'd like to think after a year I wouldn't still be checking the socials of my ex, and periodically checking for missed messages. It could be that I am a romantic, and this longing in me is misdirected, and only need someone to cultivate it. More likely I am a coward, afraid of having a good thing to ruin, and pursuing things that will only end badly for me, because those kinds of endings are comfortable and familiar. Maybe I just like getting naked on the internet.
Things coded to my personality:
- Diner breakfast
- Late night drives
- Cowgirl boots and shorts
- Music up, windows down in the summer time
- a pile of books about nature and animals stacked next to an unmade bed
- the way light filters through the trees
- a pacific northwest beach in the winter
This was a lot of rambling. If any of those makes any sense to you, shoot me a line.
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- 8 months ago
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