I keep writing dramatic posts. And I mean. I get it. Shit Is annoying. But. It keeps attracting dramatic people. 🤣 Actions. Meet consequences.

When I am. Simple. And I mean. I know it's online. I know you're need to read that word and turn it into it's opposite. But. Stop. I beg you. Don't complicate me. I'm so sillyously easy to understand. But. The implications of understanding me. I've said this twice now. I'm repeating myself now. Gross.

But. Like ok. I want to find. One woman. If you're reading this chances are you're a dude. For some reason. So. Click off my post.

Did you do it?

No?

Weirdo.

I just want to find. One woman. And get to know her. What she likes. If she likes tummy rubs. I like rubbing tummies. We are in luck. Or eating fish. I like fish. Do you also like brushing your teeth? Good. Hygiene very non negotiable!

I want to find this hypothetical one woman. And get to know her and then. Watch this. Blow your mind. Go on dates. Hold FUCKING HANDS. But also. Maybe we can hold hands in spirit? Since I like to use my hands to touch things. Like you! Maybe you got chubby cute cheeks or a big ole booty. But I mean randomly touching you. Weird. But like a leaf or a seed. I gotta. Or a puppy. Can I pet puppies if your occupying my hand?

Anyway. Spend time with this person. Go on dates care about them. For as long as it remains something we want to do.

The end.

How this became so complicated. Beyond me.

One. Single woman. Single as in unattached. If you have a FWB. You're not unattached. It's funny I have to write that, but guess what happened this week? Just. One guess. "Situationship?"

Pass.

Just. Pass

I just want .

No kids.

I just want to find one honest to goodness single woman to get to know and go on dates with. And cherish and hug

And FUCKING CUDDLE. Cuddles. Non negotiable. Sorry. I mean not like out the gate. I mean. Unless....

What am I missing. Oh. Some me bits

I'm 6'1. I have no kids. I like kids. I have no kids. I want no kids. The only reason I'd creampie you is because it's fucking hot. I don't do drugs. Or smoke or drink. I like cooking but boy I am aggressively mediocre at it. I walk a lot. I read a lot. I write a lot. I enjoy far too many things to list. It's easier if I say what I don't like.

Horror. Cats. Reptiles. Hmmm.... Shrimp. Teenagers. Pre teens. Uh. I'm sure I'm missing stuff but. I don't think about things I dislike. That's weird.

Documentaries. Fuck. I almost forgot. If you get wet from documentaries. I mean. You can watch them obviously. But if you try to force me 😭. True crime. Police procedurals. 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮. Please spare me. 😭😭😭

God fucking. Ok.

So.

All day I was like.

"FLORIDA ONLY"

And I mean. I still prefer strongly for that to be the case but I MEAN if you absolutely feel enthralled and your fucking genitals are like.

YESSSS or your brain. Or whatever you use to make decisions. I mean. Fucking hell. Come over. I mean. My inbox. Not like. To Florida. Not yet at least.

But I'm gonna be sad about it. 😔