Hopefully that got your attention! I'm [generic biblical name], and I'm looking for a long-term, potentially forever, relationship with someone as equally sexually deviant as me. I'm a real pervert, and unfortunately, this means I'm really only compatible with other weirdos. It is what it is!

The million dollar question is: are you the type of pervert I'm seeking?

About Me

I was born and raised in Omaha and don't have plans to move anytime soon. For brief periods of my live I've lived elsewhere (NYC for one semester, Lincoln for a year, etc.), but generally I like it here. My degrees are from the University of Omaha, and I have a pretty solid career path (read: well-paying). I'm not super in love with what I do for work, but I'm passionate about my hobbies, and that's good enough for me. Happy to give more specific details about education/background as we get to know each other, but given the odd nature of this post, maybe best not to doxx myself.

Hobbies include nature hikes, writing, reading, a handful of video games (League, Minecraft, sometimes BDO and others), and weightlifting. I used to read about people liking lifting weights on profiles back in the day and would scoff very smugly at that insinuation. It turns out, weightlifting is actually really fun. Easy to set goals, fun to chase em. It's probably obvious, but I'm definitely more of a homebody/recluse than a social butterfly type. I'm not shy by any means, and for things like hiking or zoo visits I'm always willing, but if you're the type of person who wants to be at the bar/club/party multiple times a week (or even month), we're probably not for each other.

Physically, I'm a little over average height, white, and relatively fit. I'm on the thinner side, but since taking weightlifting serious about 8 months ago, I've gained some good muscle and weight. I have (NSFW) pictures of my body on my page, if you're interested.

Kinks

I think it's really important we match in at least a few of these areas before you reach out to me. You might be kinky, but if we're not the same type of kinky, probably not going to work. Here's a brief list of the bigger kinks of mine:

• watersports
• spit play
• scent play/musk

There's many, many more, and if you're curious, feel free to check out the kinklist pinned to my profile (and the "About Me" explaining said kinklist!). Despite what the chart says, I am into D/s and Master/slave dynamics, but more in a "switch" way, and only after a real connection has developed. Power exchange and BDSM of any type with strangers does literally nothing for me. My primary kinks are those listed, however, so keep that in mind if you're all about power play.

You!

Alright so, I fully realize I'm searching for a needle in a haystack with naught but a single 2000s arcade prize laser pointer; however, I am confident that you a) exist, and b) will see this post. I strongly prefer women who are either average sized, fit, or on the skinny side. No hate for bigger women at all, just a preference.

I don't have any racial preferences, but note that I am a white American Jewish man, and culturally, it would help if you were of a similar background (e.g., American). Cultural differences tend to be exacerbated in relationships, or at least that's what I've learned over the years.

That's about it, really! Happy to trade face pictures if we're feeling a spark at some point. In your Reddit chat or message, tell me your favorite type of fruit so that I know you read this.