Hi, it's me again. The problem. I'm, once again, sitting at a coffee shop, thinking about my week, and feeling in that mood of shouting at the internet because it somehow works! And I received messages from people who enjoyed my stories, so I get a writing exercise out of it. I hope the stories can keep you entertained, but also have you reaching out to talk about your experiences, or how someone was totally insane, or maybe have you engaged enough to be someone worth writing about in the best way. I know exactly what I'm looking for out in people, and it only makes things harder, but through writing about it, I've learned to have fun with it.

I'll introduce myself at the end, but you're here for tea, so let me get spilling. Not all of these Redditors were people I engaged with using this account. All of these people are people I've met through Reddit and, bear in mind, I actually went into using Reddit thinking I could meet normal people because I didn't know any better! If you think you recognize yourself here, hello, again!

Two Phones

Sometimes, you meet someone and within the first impression, you know it won't work out. Thing is, nobody ever taught me how to back down and get out, so I spent the next two hours (or less) at my favorite Korean dive bar wishing I'd stayed home. They were maybe 5'2", interesting in terms of their lab job in the area, into local punk shows (a scene I used to enjoy), and I got along with over chat. This did not translate to meeting in person, because their jokes didn't land, they were a bit mean, and pulled the, "Oh I'm actually part xyz ethnic background." It was a part of their identity they had talked about, but in person, I could tell they were a bit of a weeb with an Asian fetish.

Don't get me wrong, they didn't come off as a bad person, just an awkward and less engaging person than I would have liked. And as the time went on, so did their alcohol consumption. At this time, I wasn't big on drinking; I don't drink much, now, when getting to know someone unless that's a pre-established vibe, and I don't think this person knew their tolerance. I pointed out that the sake they ordered had a slightly past date, but they didn't mind and were having fun with it. Though, I don't think I've met anyone who has ordered sake at this very soju-oriented place.

I pulled out my work phone because I had gotten an email and they asked if I knew the song. After declining knowing what it was, they blasted their personal phone with a horrible song for 30 seconds and head banged along like it had won a Grammy. This person was socially unaware and I highly considered the backdoor past the bathroom I had seen so many times over the years. They talked about their living situation being a bit awful, things about their deadbeat dad, and I just felt uncomfortable. Not because I don't relate to people, but the way that they brought these things about felt like it had purpose. I walked them back to their car after checking they could walk in a straight line, declined coming with them because I needed to walk a dog I didn't have, and went home. Don't worry, they survived and I haven't talked to them since. If you're reading this, I hope you got better. And stopped drinking as much.

The First Guy I Kissed (from Reddit)

When someone likes my writing, I kind of hope they can write, or communicate just as well. This person, well, he did the former, but was horrible at the latter.

At the time, I wrote a post at the start of the workday, he responded at lunch, wrote well, was free after work, and we ended up coordinating as I was on BART going home. I ended up taking the train back into the City because I had just gotten to West Oakland, met him at a booth in a bar, and got a few beers in. He was pleasant to talk to, a little less cute in the lowered lighting, and talked more than I bothered to keep up with. What I liked about this encounter was that we both mutually felt after an hour that we weren't what the other was looking for, despite the compatibility in books, cultural references, and key damage points.

I was the one who got up to leave because I said I wanted to make a specific train, gave him a hug, and kissed him to wish him luck. I hope he's out there, maybe having gotten over what his mom thinks.

Board Game for Two

This was the second time I'd ever met a Reddit, literally the night after I met the first one I won't even write about. She put up a post looking for a second player for a board game her sister had loaned (Fog of Love) and I responded and passed the QC for someone who wasn't creepy on Reddit. She was your average SF SWE, worked at a gaming company of high regard, well-travelled, well-drugged, and stood out because we talked about mental health a ton.

She invited me over to her place and it was the first time I'd gone into one of those cute old apartments in SF with the giant bay windows and supports that would likely would burn the entire block If a candle fell. She indulged me on some of the architectural history that she read into when she had moved in, which she lamented that she would miss as she moved out. We got into a discussion about her moving and mental health as my alarm went off to take my meds (I had been on SSRIs at the time). She was planning to quit her job later that year to join a monastery and just be with her brain. At the time, I was in awe. Now, I think she was onto something and I look forward to sometime dropping my life to just meditate.

I appreciated her communicating experiences about shrooms and ayahuasca because I think she was someone who got me out of my own head. That opened me up trying different things (no, I haven't done ayahuasca). And someone who just listened to me respectfully and I was able to do the same with. We didn't see each other again after that, but we were okay with it. I left her my copy of Monopoly Deal as thanks after playing games for like 6 hours. A philosophy that we agreed upon was that not every good person needs to be in your life forever, sometimes they can be in your life for a few minutes or just for a game, and that's enough to leave an impression. Why draw it out? If you're reading this, thank you.

Dog Walks

I mentioned earlier that I don't have a dog to walk, but during this experience, I was dogsitting. My mate has me dogsit when he's out of town and I love taking him out for trips and different parks in the Bay, so I did just that. After making a Reddit post and connecting with people wanting to meet him.

I met this person in Berkeley, while she was out for a walk, on a visit from the East Coast for a friend's wedding. We got a coffee and my friend's dog got along well with her. The Reddit Chat conversation went well, randomly jumping into how even if it's pointless to keep meeting most people, it has to be worth it for the people that end up being invaluable. We got into topics about the futility of life at certain points. She's a med student that I enjoy talking to when she has time and while we've only met the once, I'm happy she's a friend.

She's someone, who, from immediately meeting her, made sense to meet. She does good, but doesn't necessarily derive joy from it. But she cares about knowing that good is done out there, regardless of her own existence. I liked her company a lot and I think that if we were in different places in life, I'd fly out to see her again. But maybe that will happen. We still talk on the regular and enjoy one another's conversational company. What did I learn? It's not worth giving up so soon, isn't it?

INTRO

Hi again! I'm a 30/M in the East Bay, working hard at doing nothing, pushing a boulder up a hill, wishing I had better taste in music, for the weather to let up so I can do Tennis Mondays, on top of Karaoke Tuesdays, suffering through Dry January, chasing life by whims because 3 AM ube milkshakes are amazing, and looking for people who I can feel comfortable enough to feel understood by. And that's very different from looking for someone to understand me, and I hope the difference makes sense. Let's talk about your stories, demonstrate empathy, and do the fun random thing that strikes our thoughts because, yes, we may have work the next day, but that's what coffee's for?

OTHER NOTES / TL;DR

6'0", Southeast Asian, pan, flexible working day job exec, yellow and a soft orange like a sunset are favorite colors, am a Leo, very much an ambivert and was last an INFP, but historically an ANTP, reads, writes, can't ride a bike, can be boundlessly empathetic, and am often told I subvert pretense.