I guess I’m making this post to vent but also maybe to get some advice but don’t be mean about it. But also maybe to make a friend or something I feel way too lonely in this world . I should get to the point though I’m a 21 year old black female from the east coast who feels like I’m going to be forever alone. I have gotten into a few talking stages and a couple actual relationships in the past 2 years . However everyone always leaves me or they tell me that they aren’t ready for a relationship after explicitly saying they want a relationship with me . I don’t understand it and Everytime this happens I blame myself because it has to be me right? I try to be a really good girlfriend and I feel like I succeed in that . I do talk to much maybe that’s why or maybe it’s because of my mental health but I try real hard not to let that effect my relationships . I just want to be comfortable with someone and able to tell them about my day or something . I don’t know I just feel like Everytime I feel like I met someone who is actually interested in me It never works out. I guess I’m just kind of tired of it and am giving up . I’ve done a lot of work on myself mentally but I do still need to do more which I’m going to do. But life just feels a bit meaningless when I have no one to talk to I don’t have friends and also I just want to be loved . Otherwise my life is the same I work ( at a job I do not like ) basically the whole day then I come home usually I am doing one of my hobby’s and then I go to bed . It feels just like a very boring and not enriching life sometimes I add thing to them but I just genuinely feel like nothing when I don’t have human to human connection. I just feel like there’s no point to the life I’m living and I’m just taking up space . Yes I do know I need to work these things out and that I should probably be okay with being alone but I’m not because I was alone for so many years at a point in my life and it was awful . I know people will say that you need to be okay with being alone and all of these things but I’m just not and I don’t want to be alone . I struggle with anxiety , depression and am stressed a lot because of things in my life . I try to not bring these topics up to anyone too much but sometimes I will talk about them . So yea I guess that’s my rant I just wish I could find someone who actually genuinely cares for me and it turns into a beautiful love story . I also wish I could find friends that genuinely care for me as well . I don’t know if this all made me sound bad or anything but I just wanted to vent or maybe make some friends or something .