Would like to start off by explaining my current situation before explaining who I am and what I am looking for!
I am currently separated, working toward divorce. Romantic love was lost while ago, we have re-signed our lease, but have agreed to be roommates until it is over. This is how we have more or less been living for the past 1-2 years. We knew each other for 6 years before we married, and have been married for 3. Separated for a few months at this point. We've talked about it and are on the same page. We have separate rooms, bathrooms, don't hug, kiss, say "I love you.", or anything romantic or sexual at all.
About 3 years ago I introduced a third into our relationship, to try and fill a void that I felt was missing. Within doing this I have found my love for several kinks, a beautiful dynamic, but also understand that sharing partners or being poly is not for me. The third, my girlfriend of 2 years recently abandoned the dynamic and ghosted. I've had minimal contact with her since, but I will say she allowed me to explore my kinks and interests, and I would love to share what I am looking for and want in another person. I am not attempting to replace her, or the dynamic we shared. I would like to use what I have learned and move on from there.
A little bit about me now before I get into what I am looking for!!
I'm an Aries(fire sign)
I'm Agnostic(but sort laugh about it)
INFP-T
I absolutely love cars and music. I work 40 hours a week getting my hands dirty as a diesel mechanic. I believe myself to be very emotionally in-tune with myself and others around me. I don't have a long list of hobbies, but you can always find me listening to music. I am always driving my car for fun, I enjoy cutting up in the back roads, or just doing donuts / figure 8s and trying to drift around in "safe-ish" places. I absolutely love cats, I used to say I love animals in general, but I am not a fan of dogs, just don't see the point in one when I could get a CAT!! I love nature, but you won't find me hiking, at the white water center, or camping. I enjoy being in nature and its beauty, but I've grown up in the city most of my life and enjoy technology(I do like to disconnect from time to time though.) I am always pushing to be the best version of myself, constantly learning from my experiences. I am far from perfect, but I do my very best, every single day. I make sure to eat, or at the very least drink an ensure or something similar. I don't go to the gym or work out, but I've always had a job that has been physically demanding and believe myself to be healthy! I would like to believe I am a very fair person, I would never expect or ask of anyone to do something I am not currently doing or have done. When I ask "Hey drive safe don't be on your phone <3 <3" I am never on my phone while driving(I don't even look at it when at lights / stop signs.) When I ask "Have you eaten?" Trust me I am eating just as much as I expect you to. I am an open book, so don't hesitate to ask for more information :)
Now for what I am looking for!!!!
I am looking for someone to share a lifelong relationship with, not right away, and not something I take lightly. Yet I would like the chance to build something with someone on a solid foundation. Honestly and communication are very big things for me. I am working through my own demons, and don't have the brightest of pasts, but as long as we can have communication and be honest, we can build something and work through any issues together.
I find DDLG to be intoxicating. The vulnerability, trust, love, and everything that comes with the dynamic. I enjoy being in DD headspace, but it is not something that I would want 24/7. It is something that I would like to fluidly explore with someone into similar kinks / interests. Going in and out of space when needed for each other, organically or planned(Lets enter DDLG space and go out and look for cute clothes, dress each other up, go for ice cream, with intentions of being in space.) I am concerned about my little's well being!! So I am constantly keeping contact to make sure they are taking care of themselves, making sure that they are happy, helping them battle demons, kissing ouchies. I enjoy going to the library to pick out bedtime stories to read you, bath time with rubber duckies and bubbles, watching movies/cartoons/anime(whatever it is you are into and enjoy in space), listening to silly music and dancing, or just being silly in general. I like to think of myself as a care giver/DD. I love to praise my little, I am very proud of the littlest things and will make sure you feel the love! I like to give more "funishments" but if rules are put into place and broken, there will be appropriate "punishments." I look at this as a way for us to build and grow together. Example if you are having issues to remember to brush teeth, drink water, eat breakfast/lunch/dinner I would love to make a sticker board and work toward positive goals, and incorporate punishments that are not negative but can help you reach your goals!
I am also really brats. The cat and mouse, back and forth, who is going to give up first!~ Within this dynamic though, depending on the trust and bond with the person I can be quite the switch. Want to be a brat and try out your dominate side, be a goddess? I would love to facilitate that. I don't enjoy to be degraded or treated like a "slave" but I enjoy the release of responsibilities from time to time, or just need to recharge my DD batteries!!
What I would like to move toward would be to eventually live together, cook together, find shared interests, and cultivate a positive and healthy relationship that incorporates the previously mentioned dynamics. I am quite versatile, and feel this word sums up how I feel "Compersion is our wholehearted participation in the happiness of others. It is the sympathetic joy we feel for somebody else, even when their positive experience does not involve or benefit us directly. Thus, compersion can be thought of as the opposite of jealousy and possessiveness."
If you have any questions about anything I've written or maybe something I haven't said please feel free to reach out and ask! Like I said I am quite versatile, so please reach out and start the conversation - who knows where it may go!!
P.S. Don't forget to drink your water :)