It's that time of year where one's aimless longing intertwines with misguided optimism peppered with just a pinch of wishful thinking, and one gets intrusive thoughts like, I should buy a boat, or I should look for a sapiosexual FWB on Reddit. Since one lives in a landlocked country right now, one thought it wiser to select the latter option.

So yes, hello, hi. I am a professional linguist, amateur writer, and a semi-pro introvert. The tail end of the year of our Lord 2023 finds me with plenty of friends but not nearly enough benefits, not to mention all the emotional burnout and the existential dread from where this planet seems to be heading. So I thought, why not cast the net for a clever, witty, kinky, emotionally intelligent woman who might just be browsing these personals and looking for something similar? After all, stranger things have happened (and promptly renewed for four more seasons).

I'm not seeking a long-distance relationship, complicated romantic entanglement, exclusivity, creepy co-dependence or anything of that nature – just a curious, literate, and possibly a bit jaded lonely soul who might be partial to casual witty banter, stupid puns, book discussions, exercises in post-irony, and consensual kinxploration (my posting history should reveal my general proclivities). I want to experience that special connection where the two minds operate on the same wavelength and produce colourful sparks of mutual attraction in the encroaching dark. I want to find a fellow Homo ludens and for my dumb sense of humour to make someone giggle on the other side of the planet.

Some topics to break the ice and gauge our general compatibility: voracious reading (from fantasy to contemporary; Tolkien, Pratchett, Frances Hardinge, McEwan, Julian Barnes, Joseph Heller, McKillip, AS Byatt), indie rock/folk and post-rock (The Mountain Goats, Big Thief, Sharon van Etten, The National, GY!BE), binge-watching British comedy (David Mitchell for PM!), intelligent sitcoms from both sides of the pond (Always Sunny, Curb, Arrested Development), films by Christopher Nolan, Edgar Wright, and Wes Anderson, role-playing video games (Baldur's Gate, Pillars of Eternity, Neverwinter Nights), creative writing, languages, football.

Some topics to un-break the ice: James Acaster (say your prayers!).