It’s that time of year again! The leaves are changing, and the air is getting that crisp little bite first thing in the morning, and I am here to offer you a fantastic black Friday deal!

What is this deal you may ask? Well, it is none other than the Fall cuddle package! Well, to make sure that this is the right package for you, I have a few questions! Would you be looking for a person with a mohawk that is forever changing colors? How about a dad bod that is great for cuddling a keeping warm, and is strong at the same time? What if said dad bod had a few tattoos and piercings? What if he is finding more grey hairs in his neatly trimmed beard, but is embracing the fact that he is becoming a silver fox? What if he has a charming Southern accent and is fork lift certified? What if he enjoys helping turtles cross the road and is currently a cat dad to a very loveable void?

But wait! There’s more! For a limited time, I can include the nerdy outdoorsman package! With this package, you will get someone who will happily venture out into the pollen filled wasteland commonly known as “outside” This package will include and is not limited to long walks on the beach, lazy kayaking down a river, hiking while trying to avoid poison oak. If this package catches your attention, I will pack plenty of antihistamine, nasal spray, and eye drops to combat the pollen menace!

What about the nerdy part of this package you ask? Well, say no more! Would you enjoy watching a guy looking very intense while building a NASA themed Lego set? Would you want to get up to an ungodly amount of tom foolery while in a DnD campaign? How about staying up late cuddled on the couch and watching sci fi and b horror movies? Do you want to play rock paper scissors to see who gets to play the PS5? Would you want to co-op on a Mario game? How about dressing up and going to a ren faire? If this part of the package catches your attention, I will get the blanket fort, movies, and snacks set up!

If any of these packages grabs your interest, act now while supplies last!