Fair warning, I'm feeling melancholy, so this will not be a bundle of laughs.

I'm tired. Not in the sleepy way, though it's past 1am, which means the witching hour has come and gone. The beasties and monsters of the night are all a-bed, and here am I, wide awake. Not that it matters. I don't sleep so well as of late anyway.

No, my tiredness is an emotional mental metaphysical tiredness.

To be frank, things are not currently going my way and the worry and stress are gnawing away at me like a terrier with a bone.

I keep thinking of wants and needs, and i have plenty of both

. You'll see from my post history I post here a lot. Always the same grand old post about seeking the love of my life or whatever. As you'll also see, I don't have a lot of luck. I get replies, and I might even have conversations, but nothing lasting. Nothing real.

And I suppose, right now, I'm done looking for that big grandiose idea. It's what I want, buy not what I need.

What I need, more than anything right now, is conversation. Company. Companionship. I need someone to keep me out of my head and out of my heart and focusing on anything except my own little sphere of the world right now.

Most of all, I need someone to help me keep the black dog from the door, keep the dark cloud from descending, keep the cloak from settling on my shoulders. Note, please, I say help. I'm not pinning everything all on one person. It's not right, and it wouldn't be fair on either of us.

I'm not sure if anythings going to come of this, or if I'm just venting. A lone voice shouting into the abyss. A single person shouting into the void. A candle, flickering in the darkness, hoping to guide even one weary traveller home.

This is probably the wrong time and the wrong place to post this, but if not now, when? If not here, then where?

If you want to get an idea of what I'm like when I'm not feeling morose, check out my many, many other r4r posts.

If you do want to reach out, please dm as opposed to using the chat. I very rarely check it and I'd hate you to feel ignored. If you do use the chat, then just...be a little patient with me, please.

I am, as always, posting with the hope of a million replies, and the expectations of far, far less.