Well hello there weary traveler! I see you’ve come across my very interesting and mystical post with which I’m looking for a delightful lass that would like to do the romantic things with me! (Cause apparently a divorce hasn’t taught me any lessons about this stuff lol.) Now I know what you’re thinking, “Oh my gawd, why would I wanna date a guy that’s already failed once at a relationship?” And the answer to that would be….. I have no frickin clue….. BUT!!!! Here’s some information about me that might make this moderately attractive male even more attractive and possibly date worthy!

• I like to listen to all kinds music and sing along to it so you better be prepared to wail along with me to it! I’ll judge you for a majority of your wrong music choices but hey I like listen to old man music so we can judge each other together. Now you listen up though. If you try to bring any country music into my ears….. I’ll shoot you out of a cannon back to where you came from! I don’t know where to acquire said cannon but I’ll find one!

• I can cook! That’s right I’m not completely useless and cook you up a little ditty or two and not burn down your/my abode! Might be some smoke occasionally but I’m from California so I’m used to smoke lol.

• I like to go out on adventures when I’m not trapped in the middle of nowhere! Love to go out into nature or go to fun new places I’ve never been to so hopefully you’ve also got some wanderlust!

• I’m very kind and caring. Some might say too nice. It’s almost suspicious. What kind of diabolical schemes must I be coming up with? A man that will listen to all your worries and woes and genuinely show some concern for your well being!?!? I must be up to something dastardly! Seriously though I’ll be here for all your terrible times and have a hot cocoa and Jurassic Park ready for you cause chocolate and dinosaurs fixes all the problems.

• While I am not politically savvy, I am liberal and I support the LGBTQ community. My mentality is basically Hancock from Fallout 4, “Of the people, for the people.” Everyone has rights and has the right to have rights. Plain and simple.

Now while I’ve shown you some decent points about me here’s what I need you to be cool with dog.

• As you can see from my very elaborate and jokey post, I’m very sarcastic and silly. This is default me. All the time. Forever. So you gotta be cool with this. I am also very blunt and will poke fun at you so if you can’t handle the sass, then take that ass somewhere else.

• I have actually been married and just recently got out of it. I also have a child from said marriage so if this doesn’t sit right with you then you’ve been warned.

• I have two cats and a snake so you need to be cool with these things also. I love my babies.

• I will not date anyone under the age of 25 and I’m only looking to talk to people in PA or on the East Coast. I’m willing to do long distance within a reasonable distance so please don’t be trying to date me from the west coast, that’s all I ask lol. Well actually I suppose anyone from LA willing to talk is fine too. I head back there to visit my family and my kid so that’s probably the only long distance from the west coast I’ll do.

And that just about does it I think. Man if you stuck around this long you must really like reading lol. If I sound like a grand old time how’s about you break the ice with your favorite song. I wait with anticipation!