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Behold! The magic of words and other strings of letters to make me sound interesting! You can't see it right now but my wizard hat is bent and my writings are actually lies. I'm not a magical man. I am, however, quite hilarious. Looking. I'm not. It's magic. IT'S AN ILLUSION.
So I'm going to cast a spell on each and every one of you but you have to tell me what ends up happening because I can't control this damn wand and my crystal ball is actually a made out of candy and I'm confused and I need an adult.
Wait-a-minute...this book has something written inside of it. It says, "Big booties to the front and little hooties in front of that." Holy crap, who wrote this thing?! It was probably Merlin, that creepy old codger. He's a very smart man, though. These pages of spells are stuck together. Ugh. I'm gonna just put this away now.
Dating apps are hard for wizards. Do you know how many times I've had people tell me "there's magic between us?" It still makes me blush, though. I also dont have a long white beard but I am 4000 years old. Not smart, but I am old and grey. I also fart dust. Magic dust. It's like pixie dust but more magical.
Thank goodness these robes are loose fitting because I have found the weight I lost during the dark ages (the last few years). I can still throw it back, though.
Send me a parchment, bird, paper airplane, or a message! I'm hoping to hear from you. Maybe we'll make some magic of our own.
I'm not sorry.
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