[This is all skippable courtesy text to keep innocent bystanders from having their minds imposed upon by an outrageously-vulgar mental picture. Have you checked the fire-extinguishers in your house recently? It’s important to make sure they’re not past their expiration dates. And it would really be prudent to have one on every level. Just like a carbon monoxide detector. You’re supposed to place those around head-level, on the wall, since carbon monoxide diffuses readily through the air. This is in contrast to the misinformed advice I was once told that it is heavier than air and should thus be accounted for by placing the detector close to the floor—FALSE. If you’re still reading this, I admire your patience, because these are things you should already know, and if I were you I would have skipped as soon as I saw the word “skippable.” And if you didn’t know these things, I admire your curiosity to grow. You are just a very admirable person, I think, though I do wonder if you would read just anything anyone stuck in front of your nose. That makes me wonder if anyone’s ever made a book like “find-the typo” where it’s just the same word over and over but one of them’s misspelled. But repeating the same word over and over would make a visual pattern form on the page, and a clever person would just trace diagonals with their eyes until they found the outlier. But that’s not the same as reading, what you’re doing now, and I wonder if some percentage would go about finding the typo by just straight-up reading. I think I would like to meet such a person, just to see what they’re like. Unlike you, because I already know what you’re like, because if you’re still reading you must be a very good boy. Or girl. Or they. I gotta be honest I kinda roll my eyes at options beyond those three, because “they” already has such utility. Far as I see it, it already accounts for all other possible options, including ones that are multi-layered, ambiguous or even undefined. And so, deep inside, I kinda do sigh at someone giving me a word other than those three, because it just feels like I’m being asked to play along with something they made up for the sake of being different (I’m still going, by the way, to account for 4K monitors, bc I’m p sure the UI is set up such that the amount of visible text in a post scales with the resolution, and I’ve seen some f*cking batshit resolutions on here) which is fine also, I can relate to the desire to be different, it’s not like that’s invalid, but I do think giving people something new like that to remember sorta misunderstands the mundane nature of how language gets used. Outside of a burning building, “Where’s [your name]?”—me, running over, “they’re still inside!” Like that would be as natural as anything. But how many people in such a circumstance would innately reach for “xhe”, or whatever, without having to stop and think about it, which, in a way doesn’t even solve the problem they want it to (wow this is a big screen), because you’re first reaching for the gut-gist of what you’re trying to say, and then “correcting it” top-down. Which means internally, the first word you reached for is actually what you understand, about them, your true belief about what they are, and the word-correction was just a kind of superficial courtesy in how you’re using language, like a gesture. And I’m pretty sure most people who use pronouns other than the ones assigned at birth aren’t doing so because they want to be on the receiving end of a gesture. It’s kind of like saying that someone who’s omitted a vowel from a curse word’s spelling hasn’t cursed. But like, they did… (this screen must be enormous), no? Well, that was one of the saddest things I’ve had to do in recent memory. In between the end of that sentence and the start of this one, a mousetrap downstairs snapped shut, followed by a series of little squeaks. They continued, indicating distress. Go down and find a mouse insufficiently trapped, despite the fact I’ve gotten the most humanely-lethal, i.e. powerful, traps I could find. I’ll spare the sad details but I had to dispatch him myself, as quickly as possible, so he wouldn’t suffer needlessly. Involved a bag and the road. I made it quick. Sorry man. He was cute. I looked as little as possible. Hurt my heart. Sorry man. It was over in seconds. I sort of want to cry. No I will not stop using lethal traps, doing so would be an exercise in futility because of where I live, unless I drove far away, and sorry, not doing that every time when they inevitably come in from outside. Does that make me a bad person? Feel sad. He didn’t ask to be born any more than I did. (If you’re still with me, indicate so in your first chat. Oh, I dunno, some way.~ Because that would be hot, in an intriguing way. Play ball.) I guess one finds himself in such a position sometimes. It is what it is, you know? Okay. (At this point I’m just seeing what I can get you to do.) Alright that should be enough text, no graphics card would ever handle that. (Did just happen tho.) Yes I love coffee, why do you ask?]

K let’s go:

Hey,

I’m on the hunt for a pathetic sissy slut to force-breed into a hysterical, crying cumhole.

No-holds-barred, free-use pissing, pissing all over your house. Fake-blood puke-fuck; capsaicin-water enemas. Making you go to the DMV. That’s right, bitch, wait in line. You deserve to be punished.

Jk.

I’m p much just looking for a cute/friendly fem masturbation buddy. Chat about hot stuff, see where it goes. Online only, at least for now.

I’m 30, medium height, on the leaner side, and I work out a lil bit. I’ve been told I’m attractive but I’d like to keep my face private for now.

Other than being into physical femininity, my attraction to fems is mainly voyeuristic; I get vicarious enjoyment out of seeing you feel good. It’s just so cute, makes me wanna baby you.

I’m not really into being dominant for its own sake, but that does come out sometimes. None of this is really about power tho.

Mentioning now bc I’d hate to hurt someone’s feelings later… I’m looking for someone who’s quite (very) visually passing. From the waist down at least. I usually prefer very petite builds, but a hot butt and legs with a medium build’s just great too.

CD welcome. It’s a matter of indifference to me what you present as irl. (Hmm gotta pare this one down to be able to post. K.)

Please no catfish or rp, if we hit it off, I’d like to video chat sometime. Not interested in voice-only.

Hmu :)