Hi there! I'd like to develop a close, supportive friendship based around emotional connection and quality time spent together. Some things I enjoy doing with others include playing video games, watching or listening to things, and having substantial conversations. I'm queer, trans, and only really comfortable talking with women or people who identify more with femininity. I struggle with mental illness, but it's something I'm actively working on. Please keep reading for the details!

Things I Like

Games

I've had a lot of fun with sandbox/survival games like ARK, Minecraft, No Man's Sky, and Conan Exiles. I like exploring interesting landscapes and building nice things here and there. Emotionally, I feel very attached to games like KotOR, Dragon Age: Origins, and BioShock Infinite. The characters and immersion stand out a lot for me. I really love all things Pokemon though the last game I played was HeartGold. I'm especially looking forward to playing Legends: Arceus one day. Civilization in its later iterations is something of a comfort game for me. Hm, I've played a couple of games that might be considered Soulslike and enjoyed them somewhat. I have had some fun with MMORPGs in the past. Tabletop Simulator is always nice for some of the variety it offers. I've noticed that I often tend to obsess over a game for a few weeks at most until I move on to the next one. But I also go back to games I love over time.

Stuff to Watch

I think there's a pretty wide range that I can enjoy as far as movies go. If I had to pick, my top two genres are probably fantasy and sci-fi. I like documentaries about topics like nature, space, and history (or sometimes just informative YouTube videos about fictional universes). In general, I prefer animation. Several Ghibli films are among my favorites so far. I'm also interested in anime overall, but I haven't seen very much yet.

Stuff to Listen to

Musically, it varies a bit these days. I grew up with classic rock, then discovered pop punk/emo as a teenager. Since then, I've developed some appreciation for indie and metal through friends. I also enjoy instrumental rock sometimes. Maybe I just like the sound of guitars. I gravitate toward songs that make me feel strong emotions or like I could be somewhere else entirely. It's nice to be introduced to new things too.

Other Stuff

My most lasting interests tend to be those I latched onto as a bookworm when I was younger (things like Pokemon, natural history, marine biology, space, Star Wars, dragons and mythical creatures, magic, mythology, anthropology, and poetry). There's always so much more to learn, and I have a tendency to read up on random topics of interest here and there. I like to write poetry once in a while. Sometimes I feel motivated to play guitar or piano. I used to enjoy physical activities like hiking, swimming, and sports. Hopefully I'll get back out there eventually. I talk about food a lot sometimes because it excites me a bit. I've also been trying to learn web dev little by little (taking a break for the moment).

Personal Things

Mental Health

I've been through a lot in the last months. My heart is deeply broken after the end of a very serious two-year relationship. I have my fair share of regrets. I even tried to end it all. Thankfully, I'm still here. The sadness, anxiety, and guilt remain too. But I'm thankful for the awareness I've gained. I've struggled with untreated mental illness, BPD in particular, throughout my life. It requires me to face some painful truths. I've hurt people I cared about, regardless of intent. I know that I have plenty of work to do, but I feel more than ever that it's necessary for my own happiness and that of the people around me. I'm starting therapy with someone experienced in these issues very soon, and I've been practicing mindfulness daily in the meantime. I'm learning to communicate my feelings and needs and understand those of others. A strong desire for emotional connection is part of who I am as a a person, but finding a healthy kind of balance in that is important to me.

Values

There are several things that I value in a friend. Compassion is the first that comes to mind. I feel that it's essential to caring for ourselves and others. Communication is important for mutual understanding and satisfaction. Additionally, a certain degree of comfort is something that I especially appreciate. That might mean mutual interests that can be enjoyed together, the space to be open with thoughts, feelings, and quirks, or shared experiences that facilitate understanding. I think that makes it easy to enjoy spending together. A good sense of humor helps with breaking up tension or coping with difficult things.

Bonus

This section is just to say that I do appreciate nonsexual elements of cg/l, but it's not something I would necessarily expect to find in a friendship. I know I would appreciate encouragement in taking care of things in my daily life since that's something I struggle with due to anxiety and depression. I find things like cuddles, watching certain things, and being tucked in are very calming for me overall. I'm not interested in sexual things unless I connect with someone first, but I'm very kinky overall and not shy about discussing tastes if asked.

Wrap-up

If you're interested, please write me a little bit about yourself through messages or chat! I'm usually on Pacific Time, and I prefer to talk to people 23 and up. I don't think friendships can be forced, but they do start with conversations!