I am at day 4 CT after tapering for 2 months down from 25gpd. This has been both easier and harder than I expected. Physically, I think my taper had the intended effect, in that I don't have much in the way of physical withdrawals anymore. No restless legs, no stomach issues, chills are mostly gone, etc. So that part has been easier. But the mental part has been... Difficult. Not as much anxiety as I'd expected. It's mostly anhedonia, depression, and emptiness. Sometimes I feel just kind of meh, but OK. But yesterday was SO hard and I almost cracked. I couldn't find joy in anything. I felt depressed, spent all day in bed and I cried more yesterday than I have in the last 4 years combined. I guess this is to be expected, I've been numbing emotions for years and now it's all coming to the surface, but damn. I feel pathetic, but knowing I don't have a next dose of kratom to look forward to, that's been REALLY hard. I used to take kratom before doing anything, because it made me enjoy it more. At least it did in the beginning. It's a crutch I leaned on for years and I'm struggling to get through without it. I know some of these feelings will lessen with time, but right now it's hard. I white knuckled myself through yesterday, and was really looking forward to discussing this in therapy today. However my therapist just canceled so I won't see her until next week. Guess I'm sharing here because I can't share with her. I feel slightly better today, but my mood really dips in the afternoon, so just hoping I can hang in there. Good luck to everyone out there going through similar things. We can do this.