I've always used k for stress relief/anxiety. Any time something stressful happens I immediately want to take k to deal with it. I realize it doesn't help, but at this point it's just built into my brain. Today I had car trouble. My car is an old used one, but it's all I have. I'm on disability and don't have a lot of money. My car started overheating and I was 20 miles from home. I immediately started freaking out. I don't know anything about cars, except that problems usually cost a lot of money. I managed to make it home, thanks to an older gentleman who stopped and told me to drive home with my heat running to get some of the heat off the engine. This worked. But now I'm home and freaking out. I can't get my car in for an appointment until at least Tuesday, and I don't know what's wrong or how much it's going to cost. This car is my only transportation for taking care of myself and my mom. My town is small and has no public transportation. I have no friends in this town and no reliable family. If something is seriously wrong with my car I won't be able to get my mom or myself to doctor appts, I won't be able to get us groceries, or do anything else we need. I am so, so stressed. And I really just wanna take an extra dose of kratom. I'm on day 16 of tapering - am not at 9.5gpd. I woke up feeling SO hopeful. I slept well last night for the first time in 2 weeks and I woke up without feeling like I needed my first dose immediately. And now that's just all gone. I just wanna take a big dose of k and lay in bed. Typing this post just distract myself for 5 more minutes before I give in.