Hi, I created this account just to be able to post in this subreddit. I'm new to posting on reddit. I guess I'm just looking for support as I struggle with quitting kratom. I'm 36 and have been using kratom for around 4 yrs. I've struggled with addiction for about half my life. I got clean from harder drugs, went into therapy, went back to school and got a job (then the pando hit and everything went down hill) . When I started struggling after a couple years of being clean, I made a choice. In my mind, it was harm reduction. If I wasn't going to be able to stop myself from using, then I would find something legal. My biggest fears were ending up in jail or hanging with sketchy people and making sketchy decisions to get the drugs - things I used to do as an addict. In that way, kratom did help me. I didn't have to steal money or do other sketchy things, I simply got my kratom at a store. But I think even when I started kratom, I knew my addictive personality wouldn't want to let it go. It was a bad choice, but it was the only choice I felt I had at the time. Ironically, kratom has been harder to kick than the prescription pills/opiates/amphetamines that I kicked in the past. Having access to it every day means I take it every day, and I've become dependent. At my highest, I probably took about 25 grams a day. I was able to cut that back to around 15-20 grams. I've tried to quit before, but the restlessness and night sweats and insomnia and anxiety always push me back to it. I've tried tapering, but it's hard to taper because I don't take the same dose every day. I would always just take it when I felt like I needed it. So I don't even know where to start. I know kratom is affecting my life negatively and I want to quit. But I don't feel like I have anyone in my life I can discuss this with. I'm the primary caregiver for my sick mother. I don't have many friends, and the ones I do have live in different states. I'm just looking for a supportive community and any advice you all might have. If you read all of this - thank you.