Hey all,

I went through a brutal wd in may and was good until July when I bought one Kratom/kava drink. This past monday I took 3 7ohm pills, two black shots, 2 of those drinks, and three spoonfuls of Kratom. Pretty charmed life we live isn’t it. Needless to say I actually felt horrible all day and super dysphoric. Could not concentrate at work, I have not exercised in months and my pants are hanging off me.

I was on suboxone for five years about 7 years ago. It gave me stability but came with its own side effects. I decided to choose stability, I can’t live in this misery anymore. I started yesterday on suboxone with 1mg, I am going to a meeting tonight, going to therapy. I am going to try a fairly rapid withdrawal aided by suboxone (I can’t taper, I just don’t possess the willpower right now and my life is 10/10 stressful some days). If I can not succeed I will stay on a low dose of suboxone and countinue therapy and meetings until I can get clean again.

It feels like a huge failure but I need to prioritize my mental health. This shit has been absolutely killing me with depression and anxiety. If anyone is curious I’ll keep this thread updated over the next couple weeks with how things go.

I woke up at 1am pretty uncomfortable last night so I know the dose I am using is just barely covering wd. Which is fine with me. I am not having Kratom cravings for the first time in months however and feel happier than I did Monday.

I am going to explore therapeutic ketamine as well over the next few weeks at the recommendation of my therapist.

I have learned one thing - I can not use Kratom. I can not drink alcohol. I am an addict through and through and if I don’t get it under control I likely will have a very miserable life.

Best wishes everyone.