So I was pretty active on here several months ago. I tapered from about a 20gpd habit and managed to quit for several months. A month ago I went on a trip to NYC to visit my best friend. I had an amazing time, but when I got back I got really into my head about wanting things to change in my life. I decided I want to go back to school and get my Bachelor's, but I guess I didn't feel confident in myself because after making the decision I started using k again. Just a little at first, but now I'm up to around 7-9gpd. It's not as bad as it was when I was using before, but I felt myself slipping, and I feel myself slipping. I know the longer I use the more I'll end up using until I'm right back where I was or even worse. It's only been a month and already my hair and skin are looking like shit again. They'd actually started to look somewhat better before. I'm so ashamed of myself. I didn't even want to come here and admit this, but the first step to changing is admitting the problem. I feel like I've lost my motivation. I so desperately don't want to end up back where I was, but I know the motivation and determination it took for me to be serious about quitting the first time, and I Don't know how to find that again. Anyway, I just needed to type this out. To be honest with you all, and more importantly to be honest with myself - about where I'm at. Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this.