For context, I am AMAB and considering the label demiboy.

I recently read the gender dysphoria bible to be more supportive of a trans friend, and I found myself identifying with many things that I'd never connected to gender identity before. The things I most identified with though are pretty inconclusive and I'm feeling very confused about myself.

I identified with a lot of the depersonalization symptoms, but have also experienced depression (and have a family history of it) which I've never connected to gender before, and it could just be a non-gender thing

Some examples of less-obvious dysphoria that I identified with included prioritizing others over myself and feeling directionless, which also feel like depression things

I don't like many really masculine men because I feel like I don't identify with them, but the things that bother me are generally the same traits people associate with toxic masculinity. I worry a lot about coming off as objectifying, creepy, or simping. I don't think I tend to come off that way but I spend a lot of time/thought to make sure of that

I don't really identify with femininity as a whole, but I do with many feminine traits. I don't identify with many masculine traits, but I do identify with masculinity as a whole. I realize this seems kind of contradictory and I haven't resolved that yet. I identify somewhat with demiboy but am unclear where in my mind I draw the line between feminine male and demimale

The only dislike I've felt about my body is weight related, so I don't think I have any sort of body dysphoria

I prefer the woman's role in dating of being approached, and I'm submissive in bed, which more women than men are. However, these are perfectly valid things for men to prefer without it affecting their gender identity

I basically feel like I have a lot of half-symptoms which can all be explained by depression, dislike of toxic masculinity, and non-gender related preference, or it could be explained as gendered dysphoria, and I really don't know how to tell the difference